These Letters are posted for the Purpose of:
- Prayer - (Identifying information has been omitted.)
- Families learning they aren't alone: Someone has a story similar to their own
- Educating Others: Illustrating how widespread and harmful these problems are
Thank you for taking the time to read these original letters from birth parents, grandparents, foster families, and pre-adoptive families with multi-racial children negatively affected by Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA). Except where birth parents have requested otherwise, Identifying information has been omitted to protect the children. So, as clarification for legislators that have asked - YES - These letters have come from many different states. And NO - the tribes involved are not always from the same state as the child. ICWA allows tribes to petition for jurisdcition across state lines
Are these families receiving Due Process and Equal Protection?
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60) December 11, 2007
I have four grandchildren children in foster care. They have been removed three or four times,without any investagations. this last time they were removed by a family support worker, not their caseworker. I am not allow unsuppervised visit with my grand children,pluse my phone calls are listened too. my grand daughter is seven her and I are very close. Since a call I made that her grandfather had touched her wrong,I have been pushed father away from her. My daughterinlaw told me he also touched wrongly. All four of these kids are in foster-care on her side of the family. I've been in these kids lives since birth,I cant afford legal help,no one wants to go against the Indian tribe. There has been so much and so many times this tribe has removed these kids without anyone following up or giving their parents the help they need with their drug problem,they offered no rehab.help,they just kept taking their kids as a way of keeping them off of drugs. Now they plan on taking their parental right. These children are a mess from these removels, they are not allowed to talk or see their parents.
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59) October 23, 2007
I am curious, does the tribe have an attorney working with them in icwa cases? I would hate to leave my children's lives and my life up to 4 year degreed social workers. I feel my tribe doesn't care about me as a parent all I get are put downs. How can I obtain my files that my tribe has on us? My tribe was working against me in the beginning according to cps records that I obtained. I don't believe they are working for my rights at all. my case is a mess and all people are doing is damage control and little as possible. I need a miracle don't know how to ask for prayer from you folks. I am being accused of munchausen's by proxy and the cps did a negligent investigaton. I know because I have the disclosure paperwork. Right now I have an honest attorney fresh out of law school, full of idealism. I am researching my case from all angles and happen to come across your web site. I am now a beginning paralegal student who will further investigate my case from the other side of the fence. If someone can write back with ideas how to fight both the state of WA and my tribe it would be great. My heart and prayers go out to all of the families involved in the United States and in Indian Country.
UPDATE Nov. 29, 2007
I was able to hang onto my parental rights, the judge denied adoption. My attorney tried her best to get the judge to see it our way, CPS claims to have done "active efforts" and I know better, I had to obtain all and complete all of my services prior to CPS' approval, which I seldom received. I am in the process of pulling information together for my attorney regarding violations of indian child welfare act. I agree about the tribe not acting in the parents best interest. I believe they failed to reunify me and my children. I in the mean time have held on this far and I was told I make everyone's life miserable by the gardian ad litem! So what, I am their mother and will always be their mother. Thanks, I'll let you know how things go.
UPDATE March 7, 2008
My case is going on five years by April 29, 2008. My attorney wants to take this to trial sometime in the future. I am working hard at this and if it wasn't for God helping me along this difficult journey, I don't know what I would do. A lady at church had a word of knowledge and she told me that I was going to get my kids back and two people figure prominentaly. I don't know who, but it is not important, God knows and today I gave appreciation and thanks.
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58) October 14, 2007
We would like to support this effort. We are currently pending about an adoption of a .... baby. He has been with us for 19 out of the 26 months of his life. We received permission from one worker from the .... nation to adopt and two weeks before the adoption was to be final another worker stepped it and stopped the adoption. Now 4 months later the judge has given us the go ahead with the adoption and a good cause hearing is being set. The child has many health problems so the tribe has been unable to place him. I understand the panic and fear that exist when children are about to be taken from the only family that they have known. It is not in the best interest of the child and only serves to hurt them more. Is it so out of the question that a non Native American family would have the ability to learn and to teach a child about the cultural that they were born into?
UPDATE October 27, 2007
DHS has come back and said that some type of paperwork still needs to be done. It may delay the adoption date a little longer. Notification has been sent to the tribe and they have 20 days to respond, we will see what happens.
Thank you for your email and for keeping me in the information loop.
UPDATE November 29, 2007
...We had a court date set for the 21st of November but the State ... did not have all of their paperwork completed so it had to be postponed. We had not been approved but not authorized so now we are waiting for the authorization. It is not a big deal but it can take 30 days. We have another date in January so it should be done then.
Thank you very much for your concern. I will keep you posted.
UPDATE January 10, 2008
I wanted to let you know that we finalized the adoption of (Son) on Jan 9th. The tribe was there and they have court documentation showing that the tribe was not objecting and that the ICWA had been followed. It is finally over!!!!!
I am really interested in getting involved with this. There has to be something that can be done that will satisfy first the needs of the children and second to keep the tribes happy. We have committed to do what we can to learn of and to teach (Son) about his heritage. Is there an organization that works between the tribes and non Native American families? Anyway, something needs to change. It is only by the hand of the Lord that (Son) is with us. I even think that the social workers are amazed that the tribe allowed the adoption.
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57) September 29 , 2007
My family has found ourselves in a tough situation. Our eighteen year old daughter was pregnant, set up an open adoption through an agency in California, chose a wonderful family, and then it all started to fall apart due to the Indian Child Welfare Act. I had never heard of the law and I am amazed that it still exists. The ...tribe was notified that an open adoption was going to take place and they announced that they would block my daughter's and her boyfriend's ...efforts to give their child a better life then they could. She delivered the baby last week, a month early, the baby's hospital bills are already $63,000 and he is expected to stay for another week. We are hiring a private adoption lawyer, since the adoption agency says they cannot go forward without the tribe's blessing. I am hoping you can give us some guidance in how to proceed. We very much want the adoption to take place, the adopting parents are more than willing to meet any demands the tribe has, as long as they can finally have a child of their own. Any advice you can offer will be most appreciated. Thank you for your time.
UPDATE Oct. 27, 2007
The baby is doing very well. As for the tribe, my daughter and her boyfriend go to court on 11/2/07 to sign the relinquishments and the tribe has said they plan to be there and fight against it. So, we are on pins and needles until Friday. .......... are scheduled to fly back the very next day. We all are just praying the Judge is the tribe for what they are and does the right thing. Thank you for your concern. I will let you know what happens.
UPDATE Dec. 2,, 2007
The kids had to sign regular relinquishments and return home. They are going to court this coming Friday the 7th to face off with the tribe. A case almost identical to ours went in favor of the birth parents wishes just last month, so we are hoping that is a good sign. I'll write you with the outcome next Friday. Thank you your concern.
UPDATE Dec. 10,, 2007
Here is the update I promised. They went to court on Friday and signed the relinquishments and filed the petition of adoption. The tribe's lawyer was rude, condescending and made faces at the kids. A very mature individual. Anyway, the tribe says they plan on interfering. The judge told them they have no grounds. But, I guess we are still in for a fight. The next court date should be in about 6 months. Our lawyer said that after that court date, which is to finalize the adoption, the tribe will just have to crawl back under the rock from which them came. He said the only problem he can foresee is if the tribe makes(...) the baby's dad, and (...), the baby, members of the tribe. But, he thinks he should be able to actually use that tactic against them. I was hoping it would all be over, but now we have 6 more months of fretting. Thank you and everyone in your organization for your thoughts and prayers, I truly believe they are helping us stay strong.
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56b) September 4, 2007
Let me start off by saying I am Native, enrolled with a tribe. I am sorry I didn't know about this site earlier I would have love to go before congress. I don't have time to tell you my whole story but here's a preview. Over 2 years ago I got a call from a Christian adoption agency to adopt a baby girl that is Navajo. After meeting the birth mom who had contacted the agency, she choose us. The tribe agreed to the adoption even though I am Cherokee. Then 14 months later the same birthmom ask the agency if we could about the baby she was pregnant with. We agreed, she wanted the siblings to stay together and so did we. We where going to finalize the adoption and the tribe stepped in and said no. We have been fighting with this tribe for almost a year. It is very expensive... The have lied in almost every document filed. They even went as far as saying that the children were not related. When the judge ask if they had the same birthmom they said yes, but since one was adopted they were not considered to be brother and sister. Then got mad at the judge and said they where taking my older child too. Sure enough we got a document in the mail stating they wanted our older child. Even though they agreed to the adoption and she is over 2 years old. Of couse they can't take her, but the fact is that they don't care about the children or the culture, just the money. I am working on doing something about this. I hope it works out.
UPDATE November 29, 2007
Thank you for your prayers. After almost a year of fighting it is finally over and we won. Navajo Nation finally agreed to the adoption. This is great news for us but is still a horrible situation for all the other children. It is an incredible hard thing to go through and without faith. I don't think I would of made it out uncaved.
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56) August 19 , 2007
To Whom It May Concern,
I know that your organization is not an attorney service, but I have been looking for someone who
might be able to answer some questions and maybe give even just a glance of hope.
I am a single mother, enrolled in the Ute Tribe. I have one child. ... My questions are if I
were to get sick or hurt to the point of not being capable of taking care of my child do I myself have
the right to choose a non-tribal guardian? Or if I have a legal Will stating my wishes for my child how
assured can I be that my Will will be respected? My child and I have never taken residence on our
reservation, but we do have contact with my family who do. We do participate in traditions and my
child does know who she is. I have taken her several times to visit her paternal grandfather and aunt.
We see the father in public places but he does not acknowledge her at all. It is my fear that if,
God forbid, something happens to me. my daughter will be torn away from her "white" family, because
of the Indian Child Welfare Act. I do understand the importance of the ICWA. ...from my studies
it is repeated several times that children who are taken from their culture and traditions turn to
drugs, alcohol, suicide, etc. But I know for a fact that would happen to my daughter if she is taken
from the world and people she has always known. The family she has always and ever known do not
care whether she is brown, purple, black, blue, yellow, orange or red. They love her and have always
respected her heritage and culture. She does not know of the drug, alcohol, and violence that takes
place on our reservation. It is not part of her life. And I do not want it to ever be. I have taken
care of all my childs needs from day one. Not because I have to but because I love her and want her to
have a good life. Please tell me, what are my options? Do I have any? Thank you for your time.
....
Lisa, thank you so much for responding so quickly. You are in the same position I am.
I do have one more question. Is it true that, while there is reason to worry about Indian children loosing heritage and
culture, that if a child is placed in a none indian home the Tribe would lose money. In the end isn't this all about money
and enrollment numbers? To me this is unfair and hard to live with not ever knowing what will happen. People that I love and who love my child are willing to take my daughter into their lives and raise her as their own. And the only thing that is holding back the security and wellbeing of my child is because of the color of a persons skin and how their ancestors might have lived hundreds of years ago? Don't get me wrong I love my heritage. When people ask if I'm Mexican I am proud to
answer "NO! I am American Indian". I know you have probably already felt this discouragement, but is there nothing I can do? What if I myself, even being an adult, am adopted to a non-indian family will that put in any type of loop hole? I know
I would give up any Indian services I am entitled to now, but I am willing to do that. I am not about money. This child. My daughter is the reason I get up every morning. The reason I am who I am today. The ONLY reason
why I try harder when things get tough. And this one single law passed by people who don't have any clue she even
exists is going to make a decision on her future? I am VERY interested on knowing how I can help.
...I understand that you are not an attorney, but you have no idea how much you have helped me understand where I
stand. I knew before, but see clearer NOW what we are up against.
Well what about me? Wouldn't the extended family by law be my adopted parents? Would that give someone
else more power? Wouldn't they have to be considered for guardianship? That would have to change something, right?
Or am I just wishing! Sorry for all these question, but thank you so much for your help.
What specific dates are you leaving for Washington DC? If I am unable to go I would be ever so grateful for you to
carry my letter.
UPDATE August 25, 2007
I regrettably will not be able to join in person, but at this time I am working on a letter. Please would you mind
taking it for me. If I may ask a question? I am stuck. I have never written a letter like this before. I feel it is
VERY important to have everything that needs to be said. What type of concerns should I write about? While
emotions run like a river, there is more that needs to be added. Thank you.
UPDATE August 28, 2007
To Whom It May Concern,
My name is --------------------------. I am an enrolled memeber of the ---------- Indian Tribe, which is
located on the the ---------- reservation--------. I am writing to you with matters
concerning the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA). In my studies I have come to understand the
purpose of this law and do respect the good intentions. I applaud the hard work of those that are preserving our heritage. Our ways. The good the ICWA is accomplishing. But I do not
understand how a "just" law could take away my rights as a mother. My rights to write a Will
with decisions based on my sole descretion and know that the Will will be honored above all
laws. Why must we, especially as American Indians live with fear that our children, our lives are controlled by one law? Why must I plea for my rights?
I am a single mother. My little girls father, who is also an enrolled member, fought me for
a whole year in Tribal Courts during the processes of getting her enrolled in the Tribe. He has
never followed through on his court ordered child support or lawyer fees and contempts. He
requested supervised visitations, but has not called for the past 2 years. He sees her in public
places but does not acknowledge her. According to the ICWA, if something were to happen to
me, this man can take my little girl away from everyone who loves her. We can not make anyone be a parent and he has made it clear time and time again that he does not care. I
have been with my daughter from day one. I live every day for her. I work hard at an honest
job to provide for her. Why? Because I love her.
I am raising my beautiful daughter to love and be proud of who she is. I am teaching her
that NOTHING and NO ONE can take that away from her. So, why am I being made to feel
the only way a person can be Indian with a heritage and a hope of culture, is by living on the
reservation, recieving money and calling ONLY Indian people family, there is something terribly
wrong. Not only with a law that denies a mother the right to make choices for her child's future, but to stretch the ICWA so far as to take complete control to keep a child within the
tribe. She is an enrolled member of a recognized tribe, yes, but she is also my daughter.
How far will this law go to amend a wrong doing to make it right? By this law a father who
has proven that he does not care, has rights over people who love and have unconditionally
supported a child her whole life. By this law because of the color of ones skin and ancestory a
person is not allowed to adopt an Indian child they love, unless they grovel and financially ruin
their lives. By this law enrollment numbers are more important than the well-being of a child.
By this law a good mother, Indian or not, does not have any rights to protect her children if
something, God forbid, happens to her. By this law a legal Will read in court will not be respected and upheld. By this law we are free American Indians, but are bound by our own law.
If I am wrong I apologize, but sadly I have see this all my life. It isn't about preserving a
heritage or protecting "Indian Children". It's about numbers, financial, enrollment and power.
Using the one thing that a person will do whatever it takes to protect is shameful. My child is
not a game piece. She is a human being that has every right to be loved and kept safe. If
she scrapes her knee, she will bleed. If she falls off her bike, she will cry. If she loses peopleshe loves her heart and spirit will break.
Why am I fighting this so hard? Because I want my child to be safe. Drug and alcohol andviolence do take place in every community all over the world, but only ignorance can deny that
it does play a huge role on the reservations. How do I know this? I was a child raised in a
white home. I called a white woman "mom" and a white man "dad". For a time I went to a
white school. I had white friends. White siblings. But I always knew who I was. I was often
told to respect that and also my biological parents. When I got older I went back to the reservation. IT IS part of every day life there and is accepted to many as, ok. I say this ONLY
out of my own personal experiences and heart breaks. I have buried many family members (young and younger), including my own biological dad, to this life style. Knowing this and what
it would do to your child would you want your child to be sentenced to this? I don't. What
would you do if the only thing that stood between your child and a life outside of this is ONE law? Please do not take me wrong. I am very proud of who I am. If they want to have
traditions they will find their way back. But nothing can take there heritage. Each Indian
child was born with it flowing through their bodies. Am I any less of an Indian for being raisedin a white home? Please let us be proud of who we are. Don't make it a curse.
Why can we not live by our Elders words and wisdom. As stated by a Tewa Tesque Pueblo
Elder, "The Instructions during that time, at the beginning, were to love and respect one
another even with all the differences, different cultures, different languages. We were told wewere all from the same source we are coming from the same mother, same parents. TheInstructions was to live in a good way and be respectful to everybody and everything, we weretold if the Instructions were lost then harm would come to the people." It shouldn't matterwhether the family I chose for my daugheter are purple, red, yellow, black or blue. Enrollmentnumbers and money shouldn't matter. My daughter knows who she is. All that should matteris that she is safe and happy. Has every opportunity to be her very best and love who shewants and is loved by those who love her, whether they are Indian or not.
All I am asking is for you to please, let me me have the right to secure my daughters future. Let me have my rights to write a Will that states that I wish for my daughter to beplaced in a non-Indian home of my choice, where she would be raised and loved as only I canlove her. Let me have my rights to know it will be respected and be able to finally live withsome peace of mind. All I am asking is for you to please, consider the families that are beingkept together, but most especially consider those families that will be...and have beenshattered and torn apart. Always keep in mind the children. My child and the hundreds and thousands that are being affected by the Indian Child Welfare Act. Thank you for your time.
God Bless!.
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55) August 13 , 2007
I have a son and daughter-in-law in ...who have had 2 (tribal) children as foster children ... and desire to adopt them .... They are battling the (tribe) ... and have had to hire lawyers to attempt to keep these children. Please send me more information about your organization.
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54) July 31 , 2007
I finally after 3 days of searching found a web site that is also opposed to the ICWA. We are currently in a heated custody battle with an indian tribe. Any ideas of Lawyers in .... that are knowledgeble? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
UPDATE August 2, 2007
...
My cousin, a non indian, and his wife, an indian, gave birth to a baby. The baby was born with an addiction. In lieu of DCFS taking the baby, I agreed to become her Guardian. We filed the papers, with the consent of both parents, and I have had the child every since. (She will be 2 on Saturday). The mother enrolled the child after the guardianship had been placed. Almost 1 year after, the tribe intervened. Just recently, I was ordered in court to allow the baby to have overnight weekend visistation with 4 members of the Tribe who showed "interest" in her. How can they rule over State law? Don't they have to file this in Federal Court? I don't think the Attorney is even licensed in the State of .... to practice law. Anyway... thank you so much for your help. The prayers are great also.
UPDATE August 10, 2007
I will not be able to attend (Wash. DC meetings) inasmuch as the court order for the baby states that if I am personally unable to care for her that she will be taken by the Tribe and I can not remove her from the State....
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53) July 24, 2007
i think we have a child being "protected" under the icaw that doesnt actually qualify. so i need to know as much info as possible. my husband's cousin had a baby and wanted to give her up for adoption, she didnt want the "family" to know about the baby. her and the father are addicted to drugs and know they cant care for her. well when they were in the hospital, the father mentioned that she was from ......reservation ...., im in washington state. so they immediately called the reservation, and the baby ended up with an aunt that is long story short horrible to children, but kidnaps them all the time bc she gets paid for having them. but the thing is, the mother of the baby is related to indian family but is not enuf indian to be enrolled, so im pretty sure that the tribe should not have any rights to this child, so im going to call the reservation to ask what the blood guidlines are for that but im counting on them lying to me, so i was wondering if you guys know? please, any information that you can give me, we dont want another innocent life ruined by this woman, and if the tribe truely has no legal right to her then that will help tremedously. thank you.
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52) July 7, 2007
I know you guys are not lawyers. We have some lawyers in the states right now that are working with the tribes, but I didn't know if maybe you guys had ever heard of or had any information on a question. My wife and I are trying to adopt again, but this child will be half indian. We are stationed in (overseas) and I am curious, if we use an (overseas) attorney and file for the adoption here through (overseas) under my SOFA, do we still have to adhere to ICWA laws? Secondly, can they try to take my child away once we return to the states if the adoption was done over here? I would be thankful for any information you may have on this. I read many of the stories sitting here tonight, and my heart and prayers go out to each of them. My son is also adopted and I could not imagine him being taken away from me.
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51) June 8, 2007
Dear Sirs,
I have a very unique situation and am looking for answers.
Small summary:
I am 1/64 Cherokee, registered member of our tribe. I however, do not
receive any benefits from our tribe, have never lived on the reservation or
was raised with our Native American culture and beliefs, nor have any family
members for generations.
Through unfortunate circumstances, over the past 30 months, we rescued my
niece from a harmfully neglectful home. We took her from her parents, (my
brother and his wife) with their permission. The idea was to be temporary
situation. However, their circumstances has not allowed the return of their
daughter and we found it necessary to place a restraining order against
them, and was granted full custody of this child by the state of Colorado.
We did not seek representation when we went to court, and were not told of
ICWA. We then, knowing that we could not raise this girl indefinently,
though we have come to love and adore her, went to TX, where her parents
reside,
and removed parental rights and was awarded conservator of this child,
granting us the rights to make decisions in the best interest of this child.
Again, we had no idea that ICWA was a reality. We most certainly want the
very best for this child. We have no problems with a Cherokee family
adopting her, but she is more Belgium and German than Indian, and have no
problems with any other race adopting her either, as long as they can meet
her very specific needs.
You see, because of extreme neglect, she has an attachment disorder, sensory
deprivation, lead poisoning, developmental delays, considered autistic at 2
years of age (which no longer applies, but is at high risk of regression),
Nordic in color - very blond, blue eyed, very fair complexion and a
placement needs to take place before the start of Kindergarten. We, again
not knowing of ICWA, contacted a private Christian adoption agency and have
found a
perfect family. They have worked with IEP's in schools and with
specialists, have had a home study completed, have taken classes on
attachment disorders, have older children who she can emulate, rather than
younger children to whom she will regress towards, are blond and blue eyed,
which is important in helping her assimilate with her attachment issues,
culturally and spiritually they will raise her as she has been raised for
the past 3 years and they live near us allowing for a gradual transition,
limiting regression.
Again, our niece has not been removed from an Indian culture, never placed
in social services or involved in the system. She is only 1/128th Cherokee.
We are looking out for her best interest, and with that in mind, being a
member of an Indian tribe is but one small consideration we have.
According to ICWA, the adoption agency contacted the Cherokee tribe, which
immediatly wanted jurisdiction over this child, and without any
considerations of her special needs, determined that they would place her
with whom they chose within the Cherokee nation. Fortunatly, at this point,
were not given our names. But from our prospective, ICWA, threatens the
welfare of my niece. My fear is
that she will be lost in a social service system and her recovery from
neglect and abandonment will be lost.
Can you give us any advice on how we can proceed with the adoptive family we
have in mind?
UPDATE August 2, 2007
Thank you for your encouragement. We have put the adoption on hold. Over the summer, I have talked to both a state representative and a federal state representative, the BIA in Washington DC, Cherokee Kid's Director (Without giving the name of the child) and an attorney friend who works for the Ute Tribe in our area...
The State Representative could not help other than to say Federal Law always preempts State Law, so ICWA would over rule all state rulings giving us guardianship over our niece. This is of course of great concern.
Our Federal Representative, Congressman Salazar, his office was more helpful and showed more concern. Salazar replaced Campbell in the House. Remember that Campbell has been the only Native American to be in Washington, and there is a lot of Indian Relations that go through our area. (SW Colorado). I proposed to them that ICWA needed to be amended to provide for children who had no Native American contact. Our family has not been on the reservation in 4 generations and has no ties to the culture. The Aide I worked with agreed that the law should be looked at. He was able to do a congressional search for me concerning the law it's self and I asked specifically if he could find out what my rights in the situation might be. He faxed me his findings so I have no way of sending them your way at this time. Basically he cited the one Supreme Court case in Mississippi, but also gave me some gray areas to look at such as hardship getting to the trip for court, and showing good cause for children over the age of 5. It was pretty, however clear that ICWA was written with very little wiggle room and that each tribe had their own way of interrupting the wiggle room.
Taking with the Director of Cherokee Kid's, I found out that my brother is an enrolled member, so even though my niece is only 128th Cherokee, she belongs to the tribe. I also found out if the child is a child over 9 mos old the child must be a member of the tribe or the child of a member before federal law applies. However, in various state court systems the judge will apply ICWA knowing the child is eligible and could register at any time during the proceeding. So I don't know but maybe the child under 6 months has a chance not to be under ICWA if born off the reservation.
My attorney friend sited law which said that ICWA had "preference", meaning the tribes would first try and find family member, then tribal members, and finally any Native American Family to adopt the child. However there is a "Good Cause" exception which is very vague. According to what my representative sent me, this "Good Cause" can apply to any child over the age of 5. This we believe is a small crack of hope in our favor, as our niece is 5. But according to our adoption agency, they were told by the Cherokee's that they have never placed a child outside a Native American family.
What I have found in talking with BIA and the Director of Cherokee Kid's is that their social service system is a bureaocracy. They are interested in laws, procedures and not the individual situation these children find themselves in. There is an automatic assumption that if you are putting the child up for adoption, you do not care about the child, and any family who will take a child is better that the situation the child is in. This should not be assumed. It is not the case in our situation. We are looking out for the best interest of this child and do not need a burroaocracy to do it for her.
I can not afford time or money to go to DC, but if I can be of further help, please let me know.
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50) April 14, 2007
We need prayers. We have 2 children in our home our oldest is almost 18 and turns out is eligible for enrollment. She has decided to place her daughter for adoption and chose a non-Indian family to adopt her. The tribe requires no blood quantum only a family member on the final Dawes rolls. My 17 year old is not enrolled and her daughter is not either but qualifies for enrollment. They stopped the proceedings the day the adoption took place and are trying to enroll them against the expressed wishes of my 17 year old who will be 18 in less than a month. She wasn't even aware that she was Indian. She has suffered severe abuse her entire life and now feels that she is being abused by people that she dose not even remember meeting at the age of 12 they have not been to the court hearings involving her for years and have not ensured that she was aware of her heratige. They have also not ensured that either child was enroled untill now that they want her baby for their adoptive homes. This is a miss use of the purpose of the ICWA and is causing this child undue harm and in her mind the feeling of being raped! We are blessed with an atty that has fought the ICWA and won and I believe they are just hoping that we will accept it and not fight I believe they do not have a case because neither child or parent is enroled but this still requires prayer.
UPDATE April 14, 2007
... A has been in foster care on and off since the age of 12 all parental rights have been terminated and her tribe was notified she became pregnant as a result of rape and was placed in my home shortly after the birth of her daughter. They have known about her since the age of 12 and said they havent been comming to the hearings because it has been status quo. Not once have they contacted me or A to see that she was ok or to let us know of the benifits avaiable these are blond haired blue eyed children who appear to have no indian in them so there was never a question and the lack of tribal involvement made the atty's and csw forgot about it. She selected a home that she trusts to raise her child and will allow continued contact. They were everything that she told DHS in the first meeting that she wanted in parents for her daughter. DHS could not find that family. We found that family and DHS expidited their paperwork and got them approved for adoption.
The Baby is severly delayed and because of that and a few family issues of the baby none of the potential homes that DHS approached wanted her. We love her also but decided not to adopt for 2 reasons. We want to be there for A and she has no one except us and plan to be a continued support system for A after she leaves foster care, she sees us as mom and dad and needs us. We also feel that we are not the best adoptive home for J she needs alot of focus to ensure that she can thrive and because of issues of social delays and that fact that we have 2 other toddlers in our home that we have adopted we cannot give her the attention that she needs.
The family that want to adopt her has spent time with her and know of her delays and possible mental retardation and love her and want her Per the testing done and the problems with J's aggression to other children she needs to be in a home with no other children we are the best home for A but not the best home for J. The tribe came to our home and told A that she does not have a choice and has to place with them then they tooted how they considered thenm their children and J needed to be in an Indian home and A did not have the right to take that away from her. If they were their children where have they been, they have not ensured that they were enrolled, they have not ensured that they knew they were indian I feel that their only concern is over a fininancial gain to the tribe.
I knew about the ICWA I researched it before the adoption of my son because because of features I was concerned that the ICWA might apply. I would have never allowed bonding between my children and the prospective adoptive home if had known they were indian! My main concern is that they are trying to enroll them now aginst A's wishes and apparently can because they are both in foster care. J should allready be in her adoptive home and A should be able to go and enjoy prom tonite without having to be concerned about the future of her baby.
-
Lisa I would also be happy to be a part of your prayer team and I am sure the potiential adoptive parents would aslo like to be a part of their strong christian faith was an important part of their selection to be J's parents.
49) April 13, 2007
Hi ... I'm looking for someone to help me with my situation. My step niece is living with her step father right now while they are going through a divorce. Her mother is living with a friend right now and she has been mentally unstable and in and out of the hospital for her mental condition. She is unfit to take care of her daughter and her step father has no rights but is trying to keep her safe. He is trying to get custody of her but he can't unless her mother gives up her rights to him. She is a member of an Indian tribe in Washington state because her biological grandmother had temporary custody of her a couple years ago. Her step father has been taking care of her for the past two months and she has been living with him and her step brothers. He has let her visit her mother every week but she has been threatening to take her away and we know she won't get taken care of by her mother.
We were told that is she doesn't return her after the visit we can't do anything about it. If we call CPS they will take her away and give her to the tribe and she would go into foster care and we wouldn't see her. Her mother has lost custody of her before because of her drug addiction and she ended up getting molested by her grandmother. The FBI looked into it but there wasn't any physical evidence that she was molested. Her step father married her mother and they had two boys together and he was always the one who worked and he was the one who helped her mother get custody back. She has never been more stable than she is now and we are so afraid that her mother will keep her from us and there is nothing that we can do. I can't see how her mother can have any rights because she is unfit. There has to be some way for us to get custody of her so that she doesn't have to have her life turned upside down again.
All I want is for that girl to be in a stable and loving environment. Since she has been in our lives she has been so happy and she has given her life to Christ. I just pray that someone can help us so that we can keep her safe. I'm not sure if you can help me or if you know of someone who can but I'm desperate now and I'll do anything to help her. Thank you so much for reading this and I'm sorry that it's long but I need someone to help me protect this girl so that she doesn't get hurt anymore. I would really appreciate it if you could contact me and let me know if you can help me. If you can't that's alright because I know that somehow God will find someone to help pus with this situation. Thank you so much and God bless you!
UPDATE April 14, 2007
Thank you for getting back to me, I really appreciate it. My niece is only 8 and my brother does have an attorney but he doesn't have much experience with custody issues. This is a very difficult one too because we are blood related. I'm going to be looking for another attorney that has dealt with this kind of issue before but I don't know where to look. I don't know much about tribal laws so it's going to take a while to get all the information that I need to help her. I would love it if you could put me on for the prayer group because we could use all the prayers we can get. Maybe someone has had a similar situation that might be able to help me figure out what we can do legally. Thank You again and God bless you!
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48) March 29, 2007
My nephew married a young woman who is indian and they had a child together. He was recently arrested for domestic violence on the wife and their child was taken into custody by the state. The tribe has been notified and has made noises that they are intending to intervene and take jurisdiction of this case. However, I don't want to see the non-indian side of this child's family left out. What I need to know is can the father legally stop the jurisdiction from being moved to the tribal court where that particular court would be at a minimum a six hour drive one way to get there. It would be a hardship on the father and other family members to participate in proceedings and visits. What are my nephew's rights? What are rights of the non-indian family members?
UPDATE April 29, 2007
I am writing to tell you thank you for the information you provided a while back about a non-indian parents rights in the ICWA act. Because of that it gave my nephew a reason to believe that a life with his son was possible outside the reservation.
However, as it turns out we didn't need to know that information after all. Turns out the tribe is not going to intervene in this case because my great-nephew does not meet qualifications to become a registered member of the tribe. The only request the tribe made to the courts was that the baby be placed with relatives (indian heritage not required) and on that note my husband and I are going to apply for a foster care license until either the parents complete their case plan or they lose their rights. If it comes down to them losing their rights then we will formally adopt him.
But on another note this information is good for me to know as I am a Court Appointed Special Advocate for kids (Guardian ad litem). Knowing this helps proceed with the best interest of the kids.
UPDATE August 29, 2007
Currently the babies father is going to prison for his domestic violence. The babies mother is in a mental instiution because she is having difficulties dealing with life. My husband and I have formally moved to gain guardianship of the child instead of a foster care license. I have talked with some relatives on the mothers side and told them that I believe this child should learn about his heritage and know his Indian relatives and they have agreed to support my husband and I at this time.
UPDATE November 29, 2007
Yes there is a new update. We have since went to court and gained the guardianship of the baby. (November 8 actually is when it happened) We have talked to a few social workers at the reservation and have since been told that the tribe does not intend to intervene in this case in any way because the baby does not meet qualifications to be a registered member of the tribe. He has no tribal family members willing to take him in and since we are related to him they feel it is in his best interest to be with us. To be perfectly honest I was terrified of the tribe and thought that would be my biggest battle but that hasn't been the case they have been supportive of my husband and I all through. The problem has been the local Health and Welfare agency not wanting to let it go. However, that has been taken care of as well and the baby is adjusting to living with us all the time now.
"When this life is over, it won't matter what car we drove, what house we lived in, or how much money we made. The only thing that will matter is that we made a difference in somebody else's life." -
Sheri Rose Shepherd
UPDATE January 29, 2008
Lisa I just wanted to update you on our case. We have had custody of our great nephew since November 8, 2007. The tribe approved of the guardianship (permenant). They have also told us that after a full year of the baby living with us if the parents have not gotten it together that they would approve of us adopting the little guy. Either way he will be with us until his 18th birthday. I have read the stories on the site and thank God every day that we are one of the lucky ones. This all could have went a much worse path. I think what happened with us is that I got a hold of some relatives of the mother (she's the one that is Indian) and explained to them what was happening. I also told them that it was important to me that this little guy keep family connections and learn traditions of his tribe. A few of them actually went to bat for me with the tribe. The tribe agreed to him being with us but we also had to agree to bring him to the reservation once in a while (every few years or so because we live so far away) and take him to Pow-Wow's at a reservation that is only two hours away. We also need to strive to make sure that he learns about his Indian heritage. I have already taken steps in this way. Right now the baby is growing into a toddler (he is 15 soon to be 16 months old) and is learning new things. I read him stories from his tribe that I have found at night when he goes to bed. I really truly believe that through Gods grace we were granted the wisdom of dealing with the tribe, the family and the department of human services and given this child to raise up.
Love Always,
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47) Two young girls removed from long-term pre-adoptive home at 10:30 pm, with no warning.
The birth mom voluntarily placed them there for the purpose of adoption. The adoptive mom is the birth mom's 2nd cousin.
February 9, 2007
Enough is enough. They are now in the home of a three-time felon. Is anyone going to do anything about this? If anyone has connections in Arkansas or Arizona, please contact me. If anyone in DC wants to stand up for innocent kids like these, let me know. We all know this stuff happens and most of us would agree that it shouldn't happen. The question is, is anyone willing to take a politically incorrect stand against what amounts to child abuse in the name of tribal sovereignty? Some of you have. More need to come on board. Children's lives are at stake. Look into their eyes and tell me we really need another column about Nancy Pelosi's plane, or John Edwards' mansion, or Anna Nicole Smith's last hours.
UPDATE February 12, 2007
(Adoptive parents) took clothes to their daughters yesterday. It was 1:00 PM. (the woman given custody) was still in bed. There are five kids living there: girls ages 10, 10, and 11; and boys ages 13 and 14. The kids report that they take care of (The woman given custody), rather than the other way around. The 11 year-old does the cooking. The first thing the girls said was, "Dad, I want to come home." .... feels he is powerless to do anything about it. Nevertheless, he is reaching out to whomever he can. (The woman given custody) has an oxygen tank and a morphine bag. During the visit, she fell asleep with a cigarette in her hand. ...noticed cigarette burns on the carpet, indicating that this has happened before. The girls are in a bedroom with boarded-up windows. I shudder to think what might happen if there is a fire when they are asleep. There is no way in the world the girls would be there if they were not part Native American. They are supposedly part Native American through their father, who is in and out of prison and who has never supported them. Keep in mind, (Adoptive mother) is a second cousin to the girls (though it would be just as much of a tragedy if they weren't, in my opinion -- after all, regardless of the blood relation, these are the psychological parents of the girls).
This case needs intervention. It needs prayer and it needs publicity. For those of you are new to the Indian Child Welfare Act, don't be surprised by this. Kids are ripped out of loving homes in which they have formed deep attachments all the time because of this Act. Below you will see some recent notes the girls wrote to their parents before they were taken by police on Friday night. If you are able to do anything, do it. Like I said before, kids' lives are at stake.
UPDATE February 19, 2007
...visited the girls yesterday. He wrote this letter to me after the visit. He gave me permission to share it with others.
..."things went really good, my girls told me that DHHS talked to them and told them they were going to try to place them back with (birth Mom) and my girls told them they don't want to go to tinas they wanted to go home to their mom & dad (Adoptive parents). They did not say what the case worker response was. My daughter ... told my wife "I wish you could put me in your coat pocket and take me home Mom." It's just so hard every time we see them there nothing we can do. We look forward all week to see them but come away so sad that we have to leave them. It just hurts real bad.........
UPDATE March 20, 2007
My husband ... is White, Myself 1/2 Mexican, 1/2 White. Our Twin girl's were 1/2 White, 3/8 African American, 1/8 Tohono O'odham Indian. But ! ICWA did not care they took our girls. Our children had no rights, they were taken against their will, as Americans we had no rights what so ever, I am the Biological mother's 2nd cousin. But that did not matter either, I feel we were Discrimiated and our girls were Discriminated against. The Indian Tribes and we all live on American soil; where is our Constitutional rights, I guess we have none. Because all the Indian Nations have more rights over our Children then we do! PLEASE READ OUR STORY ! www.weloveRkids.com I would greatly appreciate it a lot. would you Please tell us what you think ? Is there anything we can do to get our Precious girls back, we go to court April 11th,2007 to see if we can try to get our girls back, Im Praying for a Miracle !
Related Article:
VIEWPOINT : Law could tear children from a ‘tribe' they love March 29, 2007, Grand Forks Herald http://www.grandforksherald.com/opinion/
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46) February 4, 2007
My daughter and son-in-law have been chosen to parent a child by a
young birth-mother due in a couple of weeks. We have just found out
the birth-mother is 1/16 Cherokee Indian. Can you please recommend a
good attorney that we might consult with?
I have been doing Internet searches all week and was very pleased when
I found your great website. Thank you for your time and effort to all.
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45) January 19, 2007
Hi,
I'm writing on behalf of some friends who are looking for a lawyer who has experience going to trial around the Indian Child Welfare Act and the .... Nation. The case is based out of Georgia. Any information or referrals you have would be very helpful.
Thank you.
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44) November 29, 2006
Dear CAICW: My husband and I are looking to adopt a child domestically and are open to going through private adoption. We have heard that if we find a birthcouple where one of them is Native American then we might have to deal with the ICWA. I looked on your website and at the law of the ICWA and I still have some questions regarding eligibility of the child for ICWA.
1. If the birthfather’s parents (biological grandparents) are registered members of a tribe, but the birthfather is not, then can the child be eligible for enrollment or membership of a tribe, or be possibly recognized by the tribe? In the ICWA it says that a child can be eligible but also has to be the biological child of a member. What if they biological father or mother is not a registered member but is eligible to be a registered member of a tribe? I guess what I am asking, is if the biological mother or father is not a registered member of a tribe, then does the ICWA apply?
2. What if the birthmother or birthfather, is not a registered member but is eligible to be one, lies and does not state on their paperwork that they are Native American and eligible for tribal membership? If they go ahead and sign over their rights and the child is placed in our home, can the biological grandparents come back years later if they find out about the placement and claim the child has tribal rights or is eligible for tribal membership? We are just trying to understand all of this and to make sure we are educated as we go forward with private adoption.
Thanks for your time and advice, Adoption Hopeful
Again, we are not attorney's. Our response is pure layman's conjecture, and should not be taken as legal advice.
Parents and care-givers can and should consult a lawyer if they think they need one.
That said:
#1) If the child is eligible for membership, but the parent has chosen not to enroll his or herself with the tribe, does ICWA apply?
That is a good question. By letter of the law, it would appear that ICWA would not apply. However, if a tribal government has decided to pursue custody of a child under these circumstances, we would advise you obtain the counsel of a good lawyer to argue the point. Without a good lawyer, people have been known to lose even good arguments protesting ICWA application.
#2) If a parent has hidden his tribal heritage, can the tribe intervene years later when this is revealed and take the child away?
these are the areas that th e current law seems to address,
1911 (c) says
"an Indian child, the Indian custodian of the child and the Indian child's tribe shall have a right to intervene at any point in the proceeding."
1913 (a) says, "
Any consent given prior to, or within ten days after, birth of the Indian child shall not be valid."
1913 (b) says, "
Any parent or Indian custodian may withdraw consent to a foster care placement under State law at any time and, upon such withdrawal, the child shall be returned to the parent or Indian custodian."
1913 (c) says, "
In any voluntary proceeding for termination of parental rights to, or adoptive placement of, an Indian child, the consent of the parent may be withdrawn for any reason at any time prior to the entry of a final decree of termination or adoption, as the case may be, and the child shall be returned to the parent."
1913 (d) says, "
After the entry of a final decree of adoption of an Indian child in any State court, the parent may withdraw consent thereto upon the grounds that consent was obtained through fraud or duress and may petition the court to vacate such decree. Upon a finding that such consent was obtained through fraud or duress, the court shall vacate such decree and return the child to the parent. No adoption which has been effective for at least two years may be invalidated under the provisions of this subsection unless otherwise permitted under State law."
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43) November 13, 2006
I am a mother of Native children who are now 19, 20 and 17 yrs of age, I have to say that I never heard of the ICWA until the day I filed for divorce after 10 yrs of marriage to the father and then I was told that I had no rights to my children by the tribal counsel, I was not even able to take them off the reservation just to treat them to McDonalds and if I did I would be arrested for kidnapping, my world fell apart when I lost my kids to the tribe, this took place in (....),I have become very bitter and angry since this all began (1993) and now I am being hounded on a monthly basis for child support arrears, I have become very sick and my arrears are in the $90,000.00 range, my passport has been revoked and I will never be able to see my family in Ireland again because I am now considered a flight risk and they have frozen my savings acct ,they have even tried to put liens on my husbands property, our vehicles and our home but thank goodness they cannot because we do not have my name on any deeds etc....right now I feel I am in a dark place because I got a letter saying I will have to pay child support until all 3 turn 21 yrs old, this ICWA has taken my children from me....
Today my 20 yr old son still lives on the reservation and my 19 yr old daughter is married and has a child on the way and then my youngest son still lives with his dad, the father I just found out over the yrs had been telling my children I left him for another man when I relocated to Los Angeles which is a out right lie, I left him due to his drinking and him verbally and emotionally beating me down, I found myself getting abusive towards the children and knew I had to get them and me off the reservation. 2 weeks before I was to leave I was summoned before the tribal counsel and the social service worker that in no uncertain terms was I to take my children anywhere, I could not believe my ears when I heard that...
I have gone through legal channels to fight the absurd amount of child support and I am losing, I have even written the ICWA in regards to my plight but as of yet I have gotten no feed back, I will no longer look for work, I mean what's the point, if I wasn't married I would be on the streets, AK is wanting 69% of my paycheck and here in my home state of New York it is only 14%, and why am I made to pay until they are 21 yrs old?
This is affecting my marriage and my youngest daughter hates me so much .... I finally wrote their dad a 4 page later after 13 yrs of holding everything in, I reminded him of why I left and how he said really horrible things to me while drunk, ...., his tribe is very clannish and they deep in their hearts do not like white people, all the years I was with this man he was controlling and disrespectful of my culture which is Irish .....
I would like for someone to tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel but I fear there isn't!
Sincerely,
An Irish Mother
UPDATE November 25, 2006
Dia Huit Lisa Morris,
I want to thank ye from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and
understanding of us non-native parents
....
as far as ye wanting to pray... then by all means do so, I'm not a strong catholic like me mum was but I do believe....
I am too tired anymore to fight. ...
If ye or anyone in the organization have any way for me to learn how to forgive then my heart will begin to heal as well as my soul which feels dark, I thankye for ye time Lisa and I thankye for sharing ye story with me,we do have wee bit in common ....
UPDATE April 16, 2007
I go to family court this coming thursday for arrears,my ex-husband knows I have been ill but cares not and today the state of NY has ordered me to turn in my drivers license,it's not that I have refused to pay it's that I cannot due to my health,no lawyer will touch my case,not even a court appointed lawyer,and to make matters worse I'm being told I have to pay child support until each one of my 3 kids turns 21 yrs old,my oldest is 21 and the other 2 are still in their teens,my 2nd oldest one is married and has a child on the way,my youngest will be 18 next month,I don't know wot to do anymore,I'm depressed and angry,I hate my ex because he lied to me and told me he never had wanted me to pay but then I found out he lied,and it is worse even more in my state they only garnish 14% of ye pay check but in Alaska they are taking 69%,my last take home pay was only $36.00 after they garnished $585.00,if I was not married I would be on the streets living who knows where,my ex even tried to get a lien agains't our home,2 cars,bank accts etc but I was smart enough not to have my name on anything so he failed there. Is there anyone that ye know that can advise me on the right things to say when I go to court this thursday?
I'm overwhelmed and feel like not even being here anymore and all because of my ex-husband,he said once he would make me suffer through my pockets,and he has succeeded. Thankye for letting me vent.
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42) October 1, 2006
I am 23 years old .... My mother is 1/2 Cherokee and I am 1/4 and my daughter is 1/8, this child is currently foster care. I was not married to her mother and we did not reside together. I am attempting to get custody of my daughter (paternity was proven) and the recommendations of the ... DHS is citing - "The child comes under the Indian Child Welfaire Act, and the child's tribe recommends permanent placement in long-term foster care." As I am only 25% I thought that I did not qualify to belong to a tribe, as well as my daughter who is 12.5%. I have followed all recommendations of the court and DHS (even when DHS has made it difficult by not giving me information in a timely manner) to get custody of my daugter. Her mother lost custody as a result of failure to thrive. The child is 18 months old and only weighs 15 lbs.
- I have a pernament job.
- I rent a room in the home of my girlfriend's parents (they have extra room for the child.)
- I have setup a plan for child care while I am at work. My girlfriend attends classes at college in the evenings, her father is home before she leaves for classes. Her mother is a nurse with local CMH.
- My girlfriend and I participate in child parenting classes together.
- I have established a livable budget and reduced my debt.
- I have arranged for parenting classes in my local area (50 miles from my daughter);
- I have scheduled and will pay for my own psychiatric evaluation by a local PhD;
- I visit my daughter every week at assigned visitation time (50 miles away).
- I will attend their parenting classes once I have participated in several classes available to me in my own community.
I am trying to get support and understanding of the Indian Child Welfare Act and how it is recommended that I not receive custody of my daughter or show I amy contact in Michigan to get assistance.
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41) September 20, 2006
We are the family placement home of a Tribal Child who is in the custody of another Tribe, due to jurisdiction issues. The child was born last December and was placed with a foster family when she was 4 days old. No one in the family knew of the baby until February, at that time my husband and I along with other family members made ourselves available as foster homes. The mother and father are both enrolled members of different Tribes and both have substance abuse issues which has caused both to lose custody of their previous children.
In June we were called by ...Nation to see if we still wanted (her) and we of course said yes. It tore our hearts out to take her from the loving family she had been with since she was four days old but we and they knew if we didn’t take her God knows where she would end up. We have maintained contact with the original foster family as we have made (her) part of ours.
(The baby's) mother relinquished her rights back in May which left her dad’s rights in tack. Her biological father has two pending felonies and one pending misdemeanor all alcohol related. Until August 16 her biological father has seen her maybe a total of six hours. Since they had a court review hearing he has made all visitations and now ... Nation has decided that he is such a stand up dad that he can have unsupervised visitation. This is after he lied to the caseworker just last week about four nights he has spent in jail and how drug court is monitoring his progress. The caseworker is not working this case whatsoever. She is doing no follow up work and apparently doesn’t care that he lies to her. She is advocating more for the biological father than for the child. She says the bio dad and (baby) are making a real bond. Please tell me how someone can say a person is really bonding with a 9 month old when they have seen her for maybe a total of 20 hours in her lifetime. Bio dad has no vehicle and has over $7000 in fines to pay. He lives in a horrible unsafe area ... and has had to made no effort even for supervised visitation other than getting our of bed. The child is brought to him. The caseworker has even said that as long as he is sober during the visitation there is nothing she can do. So let’s see he just can’t drink for two hours a week!
We are afraid for the well being of this child and her safety. We need God to intervene in this situation immediately and open someone’s eyes. The biological father has not proven trustworthy or credible, how can her be ensured to care for a child.
Please pray for our situation and the safety and well being of (this baby), her whole life depends on it. Please GOD send your angels to intervene and to protect this child. Send your everlasting love and light to shine on this situation so that the truth can be seen.
- Thank you very much. We just know that God has to intercede in this situation or who knows what will happen to this child. It is rather ironic because both my husband and I are Native American and my husband is even an ICW worker for a local Tribe and he is in astonishment about what is going on. Since no one is advocating for this child.
- Thank you for your prayers.
UPDATE October 18, 2006
Lisa: Just thought I would give you an update on the situation with …Since the unsupervised visitations have begun we have seen some regression in (baby's) behavior,, she won’t eat is very clingy and needy (of course that is for lack of a better explanation), she is very restless at night when she sleeps, among other related behaviors.
We found out through some relatives that her biological father had contacted her biological mom (Just as a reminder her bio mom is my husband’s cousin and relinquished her rights in May of this year). He told her that he was getting the baby every week for two hours and was going to bring her up to see her and that he was getting her back and that he would not keep her from (baby). Well my husband called the bio mom last night to confirm the story and we found out that he apparently has a vehicle and was going to drive the child up there. She does not want to see him or have anything to do with him. She knows if she would like to see (baby) we are fine with her visiting and us being there. She is happy that the baby is with us and she knows she is being well taken care of.
When my husband told the caseworker about the call she acknowledge that he did have a vehicle but that she told him he had to get his license and insurance, like she can police that in any way. I found out today that this man’s license was revoked in February of this year. But according to the caseworker, when he has her for visitation he can take her anywhere he wants. So, bio mom is a known drug addict and alcoholic, he is supposed to be “in recovery” but is a drug addict and alcoholic who is in drug court for the next three years. He has two felony DUIs pending against him and the caseworker doesn’t care where or who he takes her around.
You continued prayers are desperately needed because all this caseworker cares about is reunification; she is not in anyway concerned about what is in the best interest of this child, which is what ICWA was meant to do, protect the interests of the child.
We know that we need to do something fast and are looking at hiring (baby) an attorney since she does not have a GAL or a CASA worker. There is no one looking out for this child, except us and of course God. Please continue to pray for us and (Baby) as we are standing on the promises of God and not believing what we see happening with our carnal eyes but are believing God will find a way. Thank you and God Bless….
UPDATE November 13, 2006
We have found an attorney who specializes in Indian Law, matter of fact he is the prosecutor for the Court of Federal Offenses .... He has agreed to take our case, as he believes (Baby) needs legal representation. He is very well versed in the ICWA and .... my husband has worked with him so we know him and trust him.
As far as he and my husband can tell, there have been several incidents of misconduct on the part of the caseworker from ...Nation and it looks as though she did not follow ICWA .... If that can be proved then all proceedings regarding (baby) could possibly be thrown out. Including the relinquishment of her biological mother’s rights. This would be the ideal situation for us as her bio mom is my husband’s cousin and she wants us to have (baby).
...Visitation was supposed to go to three hours a week and of course be unsupervised, however that has not panned out yet and I know that it is God in the working. The biological mom is worried that if bio dad has unsupervised visitation and has a vehicle that he make take the child and run with her. She told my husband that if he gets to (State) with his family we would never find them. We are looking into where and how we can get (baby) fingerprinted.
Things are still going but we feel a lot better about them, of course when you are dealing with Tribes things have a tendency to progress slowly. We definitely know that this caseworker is bent on placing (baby) back with her bio dad and we are going to do everything we can to stop it. She told my husband that she has to reunify. My husband told her that no she has to do what is in the best interest of the child. It has been a blessing for us to have his ICW experience.
We have people all across the US praying for her and even in Mexico, we have friends that are Missionaries there and they are having their village pray for her also. We know that that is what is going to win this fight!!
I will keep you updated as things progress. Thank you so much for your prayers and concerns!!
Update December 13, 2006
Hi Lisa.
Thought I would give you an update. We were just told today that after the first of the year (Baby) will be having overnight visits with her biological father. Now mind you he is still an active participant in drug court and has no drivers license but he is going to get a one year old overnight. Then the caseworker told my husband that after he gets his license back he will meet us to get the child and the worker will take her to day care on Monday morning. We are still trying to get her enrolled in ... Nation so that they can intervene. Please keep us on your prayer list as things are looking very grim.
UPDATE January 10, 2007
Just thought I would give you an update.. Here what has been happening the last few weeks.
.... biological father cancelled his visit on 12/29 15 minutes before it was supposed to happen – He said he was called in to work. This of course was after he spent the night of 12/26 in jail. Last week on 1/3 he called the worker at 1:00 and told her to come and get (baby) because “he had to go” again he said he was called into work. Today, well today is proof positive that God answers prayer. When the worker showed up with (baby) she found another couple at his house asleep on the floor, he told the worker that today was not a good day for a visit. The worker that transported her called her normal worker who called my husband and he went and picked her up. (Baby ’s) worker told my husband that she was headed to his house to find out what was going on. ...and I are praying that God will just work fast and swift on this situation. Our prayer has been for her biological father to lose interest in her and that appears to be what is happening. I know it is horrible to say praise God that he is spending nights in jail, but if that is the way God wants to work it out that is his business, and maybe it is his way of taking care of the biological father to ensure that he does not drink and drive or do drugs and drive and kill someone. We just want God to work this out his way to ensure the safety of (baby).
Also, the ....Tribe which (Baby) is eligible for enrollment in is getting involved in this case now which is a good thing for us. Their ICW worker is a real go getter who has (baby)’s best interest at heart and told me that (baby)needs to stay where she is with open communication with her biological parents. She has been a real Godsend. Plus, the attorney that we were hiring for her is that Tribe’s prosecutor so now we don’t have to pay for an attorney. I am going to speak in faith that things appear to be working themselves out, however I know the devil will rear his ugly head again before it is all over.
Thank you for your continued prayers. I will keep you update.
UPDATE January 19, 2007
Thought I would give you a new update. Visitation was cancelled this week, we believe due to the weather here in Oklahoma, but are not really sure as we were not given a reason by the caseworker. However, the bio dad has spent another night in jail this week and now has a bench warrant issued for him for failure to appear. It looks as though God is moving in this situation and moving quickly. We know it is from all the prayers that are going up on our behalf, please continue!
Thank you to you and the board for all of your wonderful support.
UPDATE April 24, 2007
Lisa: I just got your message today. I spoke with my husband over lunch and he is going to contact Coburn’s office. I think his will be a great tell since he can talk first hand at dealing with the ICWA .... from two perspectives, one being a foster/adopt parent dealing with it and the other being a former ICW Director for a Tribe here. .... If he can be of any other assistance to you please let us know. He is no longer working for the Tribe as he was the victim of Tribal politics. However his reputation as an ICW Director and advocate for children is well known in this area....
....We are doing well,(Baby's) case has been transferred out of...(A certain ) nation and into the (other )Tribal Court. They have Court this Friday. No one has seen nor heard from bio dad since January. He still has the warrant out for his arrest. The worker from tribal court said even if he does show up for court on Friday she is recommending termination on him since he has failed two treatment plans and was a no show on 2 drug screens and tested positive for meth on a third. ....
If we were treated this badly by a Tribe when the worker knew my husband was an ICW worker I can only imagine how they treat the average Joe and how many children are put back into homes where they don’t need to be all for the sake of “reunification” and calling a case successful. God have mercy on them all when it is there time to answer for the decisions that they have made.
I will keep you updated and let you know how is conversation with Dr. Coburn’s office goes.
....Other than Senator Coburn’s Office is their anyone else you would like us to contact? I think the key to all of this is education education education education. Judges need to be educated, adoption agencies need to be educated, foster parents and pre-adoptive parents need to be educated. Because if they are not educated going in and a Tribe .... bucks them it can be very intimidating because people think "I cannot win" ..... And I think one of the only reasons we did was because we knew how the system worked and knew the people to contact and more importantly a whole lot of prayer and waiting on God to move in the situation so those doors would be opened and ready to walk through! But we were not giving in just because of it being (a certain) Nation.
...[my husband] has talked many times at trainings on the subject of ICWA and what you can and cannot do. Maybe he can do a breakdown on the law, something that would be easy for John Doe to understand (like a flow chart or something), possibly be given to attorneys, judges, adoption agencies, etc. We have a judge here ...that follows ICWA to the tee and if the prosecutor or the state doesn't do what they are supposed to do then he throws the case out and makes them start all over. He does not want anything left to be overturned when it comes to the welfare of a child. ...He would be an excellent source of information.
The problem (here) and I am sure many other states is that we also have an (state) ICWA which has some different requirements than the Federal ICWA. The other thing is that if the Tribe's accept 638 monies from the government then they also have to follow the ASFA (Adoption and Safe Families Act) - which many people do not know and there are some real specifics in that act. There are so many ifs ands and buts with ICWA that it is very confusing. For instance under ASFA if a parent has had their rights involuntarily terminated with a prior child then the state tribe whomever are not required to seek reunification efforts. But when you look at that fact that if a tribe counts the number of reunifications they have as a success how many are even following any law. Our case worker from(a certain) Nation had an over 90% reunification rate. That is completely unheard of! I was looking at the web page and there was a note from March 29 about the son being in jail and the Tribe intervening and moving to Tribal Court - I know that [here] if the case is in district court and the Tribe petitions to move to Tribal court if one parent objects then the petition is denied. It could be the same in other courts, especially in states where their is a heavy Native population. That would definitely be something they can look into. Whatever help we can be please let us know!
UPDATE May 2, 2007
Thought I would you give you an update on [our] case. .... our adoption [should be] completed in September.
UPDATE August 3, 2007
I think the cases of ICWA being abused is the key in all of this and making the law I guess you should say clearer. I don’t know how it works in other states only in Oklahoma and it gets very confusing here, because as I told you not only does ICWA have to be followed but also Oklahoma ICWA. I can tell you that my husband has left Indian children in non-Indian homes and has even had adoptions approved that way through the Tribe.
It also seems that most of the problems here in Oklahoma come from Cherokee Nation. Now I do not know if that is because they are the biggest tribe and think they can do whatever they want and get away with it or if no one will fight them because they are “Cherokee Nation” but when you look at how much money they put into the states economy and the OK politicians pockets it is very scary. Luckily, in our situation, we had a back door to go through and use and that is how we got (Baby) out of Cherokee Nation’s hands.
I understand tribe’s wanting to protect their children, you cannot blame them for that because they are the future of the tribe, however there has to be some middle ground for birthmothers or birthparents for that fact to have the ultimate say and choice over what happens to their children, as long as it is in the best interest of the child. As in the case you sighted with your own child.
I can tell you that (we) had to tell the Otoe Tribe who would take (baby) in the even something happened to us and that is a very difficult and heart wrenching decision to make. Matter of fact if you adopt any child in the state of Oklahoma you are required to give them a name and address of the person that will take the child in case you can no longer care for them for whatever reason. They then do a complete investigation on that person. Now that is protecting the child. It’s just like becoming a foster or adoptive parent they go through a mini-investigation.
Since we do not have “reservations” here in Oklahoma I have no concept of what that would be like, I know that was a fear for us with (baby) when her bio dad had unsupervised visitation him taking her to South Dakota to the reservation and us never being able to find him or her. What happened to the woman in Oregon is equal to kidnapping. Can the BIA or FBI not help?
We were not trying to make an Indian / Non-Indian issue we just know how the Tribe’s operate and usually those that are the guiltiest screams foul the loudest. Matter of fact last summer we interviewed with an Indian mother who was having a baby that she was giving up for adoption; she chose a non-Indian family over us. I guess we could have gone to the Tribe and cried foul especially since we are good friends with the Chief however the decision was the mother’s and she knew the Tribe could or could not approve it, and that was her decision to make for her child.
I know the only time that my husband would be questioned was if a child was being adopted outside the home they would ask him was there no immediate family (on either side) to take the child or children in some cases. He would explain the reasoning for the child or children being placed where they were and then he was asked is this in the best interest of the child (ren) and he would explain to them why it was. I don’t think they ever denied one of his adoptions. So I think a lot of it relies on who the caseworker is and how they handle the situation. Some go to the extreme and some do not do enough. And how you fix that I do not know.
I only know that when we update our home study with Cherokee Nation we told our worker that we would not work with the worker who handled (baby’s) case again. She replied that it was not the first time she had heard that. She apparently was then going to go to her supervisor to pass on the complaints about the worker. I have no idea if anything was resolved or not. I just know we will not deal with her again.
By the way if some needs a good Indian attorney in Oklahoma have them call Jess Green. I believe he works out of Ada and he is a very intelligent man on all aspects of Indian Law... Matter of fact I believe he has his own grandchildren.
...Anyone, well anyone who is Indian can also call OILS (Oklahoma Indian Legal Services). They will even represent Indian Children.
UPDATE October 2, 2007 Re: Washington DC trip and policy changes
Lisa:
This was absolutely wonderful! I took it home last night and let (Husband) read it and he was very impressed, he said you must have put in a lot of time locating the case law and said the points you make are very good. We were I guess you could say shocked to see that two Senators from Hawaii were on the Indian Affairs Committee since they don’t have any Tribes there (that we are aware of) and were even more surprised to see no representatives from California, Idaho, Wisconsin, Minnesota, New York, Connecticut, Mississippi or Alabama. You would think the committee would have representatives that understand Indian Politics and how the Tribes operate.
(Husband) was telling me a story in relations to the Cherokee Nation going back to the Dawes Rolls. There is another Tribe locate in Tahlequah, OK where Cherokee Nation is based called the United Keetoowah Band. Now, if you ask anyone who is a member of the UKB they will tell you that they are the real Cherokees. They are more traditional based than the corporate conglomerate of what is now Cherokee Nation and many UKB members were once Cherokee Nation members. Anyway what Cherokee Nation was supposedly doing is any UKB children that were born at W.W. Hastings Hospital they were taking them into custody and then enrolling them into Cherokee Nation against the will of the parents. These were not children being placed for adoption or have any other issues relating to Child Protection Services or Child Welfare, but in essence, Cherokee Nation was trying to steal children from the UKB and therefore squash their membership. Now, this information came from an attorney that (Husband) knows who is the attorney for the UKB. You talk about a flagrant violation of ICWA and Oklahoma ICWA. The UKB was pursuing legal action against Cherokee Nation for I guess what you could call kidnapping their children!
He also told me the story of dealing with a case in California in which the child was Quapaw (the Tribe he used to work for) and had been taken into custody by the state of California. The foster family that had him wanted to adopt him and (Husband) was fine with that because the child had no ties with the Quapaw Tribe or the customs of the Tribe here in Oklahoma. There was a worker with the State of California who was their Tribal Liaison that argued with him that these children had to placed in an Indian home I guess he finally had to basically pull rank on her and remind her that these were “his” kids (whenever (Husband) had children in Tribal custody and if he had problems with foster parents he would always remind them that the children were “his” and that they were only the foster parents), and that he had the final say in where they would live and what was in their best interest that it was none of her business and she had no say in the matter
He said that ICWA is so vague and open ended that that is what causes all the problems and various ways of interpreting but he is very adamant that if a child has no ties to the Indian Culture then what good does it do them to place them in a “traditional” home when they don’t know traditions. Now we know a family that is very traditional and if something ever happened to them it would only be in the kids best interest to stay in this area and continue to be part of the Indian Community because that is the way they have been raised. The sad part is there is no family fit to take these children.
All in all your letter was just fantastic and you should be commended and very proud of your work. What a true calling God has laid upon your heart!
UPDATE October 17 2007
We are still waiting on confirmation of our court date for Monday. In the mean time the court received a letter from bio dad stating that he wanted custody of (baby) and that he wanted her placed with his family. Now mind you he writes this letter from the cell of a State Correctional Facility. Our worker has assured us that this will not happen but that he has the legal right to appeal the termination and legally the court has to listen to his appeal and render an opinion. However, his appeal will be heard via the letter, he will not be present and worse case scenario she says it may only delay the adoption by one month. For over nine months now this man has been silent and had nothing to say or involvement now all of the sudden he thinks he gets a say in her life.
I have just asked God to intervene in this situation and to allow everything to continue as planned on Monday and for her adoption to be completed legally and without delay. (baby) is almost 2 years old and deserves to no longer be in “legal limbo” because of the actions of someone who has done nothing more than donate a substance which was required for God to make her.
Have you heard anything about your trip to DC? Any feedback? I am a huge Bill O’Reilly fan and I was wondering if you had ever contacted him about him possible shedding some light on this plight on his show? He is very “family oriented” and seems to have a passion for things that affects families and children and he is very vocal about those things he believes in. Just an idea to really get this issue out in the public.
Hope you have a very blessed day.
UPDATE October 19 2007
We finally have the word that we are on the court docket for Monday at 2:00 p.m. Please pray that everything goes smoothly and the judge grants our petition. Once our petition is granted, it will be submitted to the State for their approval and then we go back for a final decree. We are half way down the home stretch and don’t need the devil popping his ugly self up anywhere. Your additional prayers for favor with the judge and court and safe travel would be greatly appreciated.
UPDATE October 25, 2007
Things went very well. Her GAL was not able to be in court so the judge has asked for us to return on November 19 and they will do the petition, termination of rights, and the final decree all that day. The information is being sent to the State so that they will approve so that everything can be finished then and we do not have to return. His letter of appeal was not even considered. The judge instructed the prosecutor to have him noticed ASAP and to let him know his rights are being terminated and he could still do the right thing and voluntarily relinquish so that it is easier on everyone. She told him to check with the Dept of Corrections and make sure he was still at the same facility before sending the notice. But she did not want to proceed without (baby) ’s GAL there so no one could ever say that she did not have legal representation and question the legality of the adoption. We are excited and are breathing a little easier, though it is not completely over with yet. But things went very well and we only have to wait 3½ more weeks.
Have you heard any updates from Kelley and how their situation is going? They have really been on my mind lately.
UPDATE October 26, 2007
I have a reverse ICW situation story for you. Instead of the Tribe over stepping this involves them not doing enough to intervene. There is a family that my husband and I know who are a very traditional Indian family. Any way one of the daughters had her three children taken away by DHS, which was not a bad thing. However, the children have been placed in a home with an older white couple, who know nothing about Indian ways or traditions. The grandmother is getting a weekend visitation with the kids because in November the rights of the parents are being terminated and the children are being put up for adoption. When the children were taken into custody by DHS they contacted the Tribal ICW worker for help, they were told that there was nothing that she could do, which was a big fat lie because she could have filed an entry of appearance and a motion to intervene. Plus DHS has totally ignored the placement requirements of ICWA .... by not at the very least placing them in an Indian foster home. The grandmother doesn’t know when or if she will ever get to see her grandchildren again once they are placed for adoption. Now mind you these children are 15, 12 and 8 and have non nothing but their family and traditional lifestyle. They are in complete culture shock and everyone keeps telling the family there is nothing they can do about it. Grandma is not a candidate to foster or adopt due to her health concerns and their two aunts cannot take them because they have had issues and problems with their own children. It is just a sad case for these kids that instead of everyone sticking their nose in no one is doing anything that is in their best interest.
I just thought what a complete oxymoron from the stories that you normally hear. So I guess this proves the pendulum swings both ways sometimes Tribes and workers overstep and sometime that sit and do nothing!
UPDATE October 29, 2007
Here is a quick reply to your questions and remember this is from the perspective of how things are done in Oklahoma.
- The Tribe or the State would have to work through a prosecutor either through Tribal or CFR court or the state through the District Attorney’s Office.
- In Oklahoma children are assigned a Guardian ad Lidem (spelling?). This is true in State Court, Tribal Court, and CFR Court. Also in Oklahoma especially in state courts the children are also assigned a CASA worker. The GAL and CASA worker oversee the legal actions and decisions to ensure that the best interest of the children are being followed.
- What this parent has to remember is that the CPS and the ICW workers do not work in the parents best interest but in the best interest of the child and they must present a treatment plan and work on reunification. They are required to do this under ICWA.
- There should have been an adjudication hearing in which she heard the charges against her. If there was an emergency custody order a judge had to of signed it based upon information he received from the CPS worker.
- Just like an other criminal case she has the right to hear the charges against her and has the right to legal representation, even a public defender if she cannot afford an attorney herself.
UPDATE November 15, 2007
Just wanted to let everyone know that we will not be going to court on Monday to finalize (baby)’s adoption. Apparently there was a miscommunication between the prosecutor, the court and the Guardian Ad Lideum ((baby)’s attorney). The GAL says he was never assigned the case ... So, .... we are now hoping to have it completed at their December court date on December 17. ...
....God really needs to grant me so patience here. You think you are getting two steps ahead and you end up getting knocked back 5...,
UPDATE December 13, 2007
Well, I thought I would give you the latest on the court battle. The (tribal) court has now appointed dad an attorney to represent him, even though he never requested one. The judge has also denied our Petition for Adoption Without Consent on the grounds that (the father) has been incarcerated and therefore has not willful been unable to pay support or have contact with (Baby). This ruling came on a petition that was never “officially” filed but somehow was filed as part of her juvenile ICW case. Also, the decision about the petition and about appointing an attorney for bio father were made without the input of the Gal or the caseworker. They were decisions made by the “new” prosecutor and judge. So, we are going to court on Monday not to finalize anything but to fight it out with the judge, the prosecutor, and the newly appointed attorney for bio father. Our caseworker is really mad because things are being done and decisions are being made without her knowledge and input. She has assured me though that ... she is ready to fight this battle head on with us. It is her opinion that they have only appointed an attorney for bio dad so that he has legal representation and he cannot ever comeback and say well I never got a say or a defense in the matter.
Just wanted to update you on the current craziness that is going on. This all took place the day after we had a major ice storm and we have been without power since 7:00 a.m. Sunday morning. You talk about being stressed out!!! ...Please keep us in your prayers for our upcoming court date!!
UPDATE January 24, 2008 - Re: another family's situation -
I have spoken with my husband and we do have a couple of questions. It appears that the child was removed from the home or taken into custody at birth? Is this correct? Also, there is no mention of bio dad – is he unknown? Also, is the court district court or is it a Tribal or CFR Court?
The best course of action is going to be focusing on the best interest of the child and have a psychologist testify about bonding issues, separation anxiety, and detachment disorder. Also, the ICW worker from either the Tribe or DHS is required to have contact with the family and child at least once a month. The workers notes from these contacts need to be subpoenaed and reviewed for behavioral issues related to the above. Now, that is if the case is still open. If the case has been closed your best bet is to focus on the best interest of the child.
An attorney who teaches at Rogers State University is versed in ICW her name is Sherry Hugel (I am not sure about the spelling of the last name). If you call RSU, I am sure you can find her. ...You can also contact Jess Green or Nancy McAlister in Ada, OK. They are both versed in Indian Law. ... Another contact would be Truman Carter in Shawnee, OK. He is a prosecutor for several Tribal Courts and CFR courts and is a wonderful man. I unfortunately do not have a contact number for him but if I find it, I will pass it on. You should be able to find him on the Oklahoma Bar Association website.
(My husband) found it really odd that a judge did not follow the recommendation of the GAL; normally their opinions carry a huge amount of weight with the judge. That is why he was questioning whether it was district or tribal/CFR court. To be brutally honest if it is a Tribal court, the fact that you are not Indian nor are you a relative is deeply against you. Unfortunately, too many Tribes get high and mighty off of their sovereignty and they seem to think they know what is best and they can raise “their” children better than anyone else can.
But contact Sherry or one of the other attorneys I mentioned and see what their advice or perspective if. I am praying that this is a district court issue and not Tribal or CFR and you unfortunately have gotten a judge that does not understand ICWA. Also remember in Oklahoma that there is the Oklahoma ICWA and there are some differences in requirements of the two laws. Also, the Tribe also has to adhere to the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) if they accept 638 monies.
Let me know the answers to the question and who her GAL was and I will see what else we can come up with. Our prayers are with you!
UPDATE January 25, 2008
I am requesting prayers for a two year old little girl who is currently in ICU in a Tulsa Hospital. This little girl was beaten by her mother so badly that she has a broken arm, a 5 inch tear in her stomach and is having rectal bleeding. At this point they do not know if she is going to make it or not. Please pray that this child is touched by God and receives a complete healing. There are two different Tribes involved in the case and both are wonderful caseworkers. As a mother of a two year old I cannot imagine a mother doing this. This little girl needs all the prayers she can get. One of the caseworkers says she has vowed to the baby never to return her to her mother, let’s hope she is able to keep this promise!!
UPDATE March 10, 2008
The little girl is out of the hospital and living with her paternal grandmother. She is doing well but still has a long road to recovery ahead of her.
UPDATE February 26, 2008
I thought I would give you an update from our court proceedings yesterday. Even though things are still not finalized, we have moved one-step closer. There will be a permanency planning hearing in March and a termination hearing is scheduled for June 30. The judge and the prosecutor are both very ignorant of the law. Every case they did when the judge would ask the prosecutor what he wanted to do he would reply “I don’t know”.
When she asked him about (Baby)’s case, his response was “Your honor I don’t know. I need an education.” Of course, natural father’s attorney was bragging about how well he is doing in the penitentiary and what a model citizen he is. When the GAL got to give his input he told the court that it was wonderful that natural father was doing well in prison but that doesn’t translate to doing well in the real world and (Baby) would be 5 by the time any reunification could be done so it is in her best interest to terminate natural father’s rights and proceed with adoption. He told the court that when natural father had the opportunity to make changes when (Baby) was an infant he chose not to and it has been too little too late. The natural father’s attorney said if the court proceeded with termination and adoption he was going to push for an open adoption so that natural father could maintain contact with the child. I told our lawyer and the caseworker absolutely not, no open adoption. That he was a violent offender and I would not feel safe if he ever showed up at home when it was just (Baby) and I. I did get to address the court and thank God for putting a watchman over my mouth because I was so mad I couldn’t sit there any longer and not say anything. The judge is worried about some case law that she thinks she has in the back of her head regarding terminating rights on parents who are incarcerated, that a mother after 6 years got her daughter back. Do you know anything about that?
The point the caseworker was trying to make is that they are not terminating based upon him being incarcerated they have a list of reasons to terminate other than that. So, on June 30 (the exact two year anniversary of her being placed with us) there will be a termination hearing. The judge has requested that natural father be brought to court.
(My Husband) and our attorney thinks the judge is only doing this so that he cannot appeal any termination or adoption, he will have been given his day in court and there will be no recourse for him to appeal the decision.
So, the wall is crumbling but it isn’t knocked down yet. Please continue to keep us in your prayers!
UPDATE March 17, 2009
I just wanted to update everyone on the ongoing saga .... We found out yesterday that as of Friday the Tribe does not have a prosecutor and will not have one for court on Monday. This means that there is an almost guaranteed chance that we will get a continuance. However, natural father’s attorney has filed a petition to resume visitation. According to information that we have gotten from the caseworker from the most recent former prosecutor is that the judge told him that she was going to continue the termination case until April but it appeared she was going to hear the petition to resume visitation. We are all dumbfounded as to how she could even hear something that was tied to this case when there will be no legal representation for the Tribe. This whole mess was further compounded by the fact that late yesterday afternoon his attorney called our caseworker and told her that he had spoken to Baby ’s attorney (the GAL) and that the GAL supposedly said he did not have a problem with visitation as long as it was gradual and that natural father was subject to random ua’s. If this in deed is what the GAL said then it is a 180 from his position in January and from his position a year ago. Since there seems to be a lot of ex parte conversations going on with the judge we aren’t really sure what is going to or not going to happen. There seems to be a lot of confusion and chaos being thrown in to this situation. Both the caseworker and the most recent former prosecutor agree that they believe the judge is going to terminate his rights.
We appreciate all of you for your prayers and support but we need to ask another favor. If you could please kick your prayers up another notch. Please if you have not added Baby to the prayer lists at your church please do so and please ask anyone you know who believes in Jesus Christ to pray for her and to add her to their prayer lists at church. We are still having the prayer meeting at our house this Saturday. It has become very relevant to me that the more we have prayed and the more people that have prayed the hotter the flames have gotten. And yes Darold and I are struggling, physically, emotionally and spiritually, so please pray for us for strength. In our hearts and spirits we know that God is there and working it out but that sometimes doesn’t translate to the head so well. So thanks to you all again for your prayers., love and support. We will keep you updated.
UPDATE March 24, 2009
Well, we got a victory yesterday in court. Biological father did not show and his attorney proceeded to start throwing him under the bus. The judge continued the hearing on the petition to resume visitation until April and the termination hearing has been continued until June (only because Baby’s attorney could not make a May court date). We are thanking God for answering our prayers because we see this as a battle won in this war.
His attorney openly admitted in court that he did not know where his client was and that he didn’t show at an appointment they had last Thursday. That the contact information he had for his client was just a message phone at a relative’s home and that the relative admitted that he was not living there, that he was living somewhere else and all they could do was give him a message.
Please do not quit praying for Baby and the situation, especially the judge. I will keep everyone updated as things progress. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers and support during this saga, but please don’t stop now!
UPDATE April 29, 2009
So, here is the latest on our court case. There was court on Monday. Bio dad’s attorney’s motion to withdraw was approved. So, the only attorney left is Baby’s attorney, the Guardia Ad Liteum (GAL). Anyway, the GAL and the judge decided that Baby could be released for adoption and that our attorney could file the paperwork and according to our caseworker, they (the judge and the GAL) are looking for all of this to be over on May 18.
We are currently waiting for the GAL to contact our attorney to explain to her exactly what it is that they are doing and what she needs to file. Our caseworker is a little confused about this new process. As excited as we are we want to make sure our i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed and there are no loopholes for him to ever come back and say something was not done properly.
What is really sad in this situation is #1 they are not hurrying this process up for Baby’s sake, they are hurrying it up because they have dragged this out for so long that they now have egg on their face and #2 is that the judge actually said in court on Monday that she just can’t understand what happened with the father because he was doing so good. So good? So good at what, sitting in jail, for assault and battery on two Tulsa police officers and failing drug court. The GAL apparently told her that what happened with the father is that he is back doing drugs and alcohol just as he was before he went to jail. Our caseworker said it was as if she just couldn’t grasp that concept. That just floors me. She surely cannot be that naïve. I actually have another word for her that I won’t use because as Baby says ”Just calm down and Be Nice. Jesus doesn’t like that.”
Thanks again for all your prayers and support. We’ll let you know more as we find out.
UPDATE July 9, 2009
We just found out that we will have our next court date w/ Baby on Monday, August 17. This hearing will be to adjudicate Baby eligible for adoption without consent of natural father. Once that is done, we will then go back the following month and do her adoption. So, if everything goes as planned her adoption will be finalized in September, with a huge part to follow!!!
Thanks everyone for your continually prayers and unending love and support that you have given to us!
The other side to this coin is that Baby now wants a little brother. Our advice to her has been that she needs to talk to Jesus about that one! And we all know what happens when children pray.
UPDATE September 16, 2009
I am very happy to announce that we go to court on Monday. September 21 to finalize Whitney’s adoption. On Monday, she will legally and forever be ours! Thank you to all of you who have prayed and interceded on our behalf and have been there for us. There is nothing that we could ever do to repay you! We are forever grateful to our friends and family.
And the answer is yes! There is going to be one big huge party!
Love and Hugs!
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40) Sepember 18, 2006
To Whom It May Concern, I am enrolled with the Oglala Sioux Tribe and I am about to go through a nasty divorce with my husband. I was wondering if this "Indian Child Welfare Act" will help me in any way to keep primary custody of my son. I am a good mother I don't abuse drugs or alcohol. I have a home of my own, I work full time, have my own vehicle and my son and I attend church on a regular basis. My soon to be ex husband keeps telling me that he is going for full custody of our son. The only reason he wants our son is so that he won't have to pay child support and so that he can keep his current housing allowance through the air force. He's hiring an attorney so If you could get me any information that might help me I'd appreciate it.
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39) September 3, 2006
..... We would love to adopt this child but find ourselves dealing with the ICWA. Both parents rights were terminated shortly after birth, but then father's rights were reinstated so that the child may be enrolled into the father's tribe. ...Weekend visits have begun, and my once very happy, secure toddler has become very insecure, crying alot, and throwing tempertantrums. My husband and I have had the opportunity to meet this cousin in her home. All I can say is that my heart dropped into my stomach when we entere d the home. The smell of an illegal substance was overwhelming to my husband and I. The state social worker however states she did not smell anything and that she needed to be carefull about how she brought our concerns to the tribal social worker as to not to step on any toes. Her relationship with the tribe seemed to be more important than the childs welfare. Since then the state has made our life difficult and made us feel like we are the enemy. This is a child who was born drug and alcohol affected and I fear that he may be put back into the same situation... Read more of their letters
UPDATE October 23, 2006
...
Right now, Debra is much pain. She has not stopped crying and (Baby) has been gone for nearly two hours now. I am having a hard time focusing myself. It feels like a death in our family and the weight of the pain is to heavy to bear. I plan on taking a photograph of (baby) to our Pastor and asking him to pray... I don't know what else to do. I am not a lawyer. I am a cop. I know the law a little bit, but not it's application. I am aware that you do not give legal advise and I understand why. I appreciate your support for my wife and all the help you have given her. She is a beautiful person, both inside and out. She really loves children and because we have not been able to have children of our own, she has chosen (or God has chosen) this path. Finally, we don't know how much longer we are going to be able to bear going through all of this again. I, at this point am done. Time will dicate our future and God will intervene, but for now, I'm done.
UPDATE November 10, 2006
...You don't know how much your words and thoughts mean to me. Today for some reason has been a difficult one. ..................................................Back to top
UPDATE April 9, 2007
...I just received a phone call from the tribal social worker asking me some questions on (baby)'s immunizations and then she informed me that he is no longer in the home of his relative placement. Now he must adjust again to a new home after just being in the relative placement for about 6 months. This is his 5th placement in 27 months of life. How can they believe this is in his best inerest? My heart is heavy and I try not to worry about him but it is diffcult. I know that everything happens for a reason and I know through Gods grace and love I will someday understand.
UPDATE August 9, 2007
Hello Lisa, wanted to let you know that I was unable to get the days off of work to drive with you ..., I should have acted sooner but never thought about driving to DC. My husband and I looked into my flying but unfortunately our budget won't allow for that. I will be sending 50 more dollars to be put towards the trip. Please keep me posted on what happens in DC. I will continue to pray! Is there anything else that we could do?
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38) August 30, 2006
Hello, ... I am the mother of a beautiful Native American daughter. Since my daughter was 4 months old I have had a custody order in my favor. She is now 11 1/2 and last summer when she was 10 my husband and I went to jail for a little bit, keep in mind that I am 28 years old and have never even had a traffic ticket. My ex husband, in the mean time has had very little to do with me or our daughter since our divorce in 2000. For the last 3 years he has had absoulutely no contact with his daughter. Not a Christmas card, birthday present or even a phone call. When I got arrested I called my ex sister in law, who was married to my ex husbands brother, and I essentially gave her custody of my kids. Within days my sons dad picked him up and thats where he remained until I was released from jail and my daughter remained with her aunt. Then my daughter went to visit her grandma, who in turn called her son and told him that I had been arrested. My ex husband came to town the day before I was released from jail and took our daughter to his reservation where he filed a temporary custody order. 10 months later we went to tribal court and he recieved custody after a 90 second hearing.
I am wondering how this happened and if there is anything I can do? Who's custody order trumps who's? Why does nmy daughter have to live so unhappily? It's not that she doesn't love her dad she just barely knows him and I am the only constant thing in her life. How can they just take her away? Please point me in the right direction as far as what legal action I mght be able to take and regain what I think is rightfully mine.
I recently had her for three weeks after our court hearing and put her on the train to go back to her dads. As the tears streamed down her face and she begged me not to make her go, she pulled out of the train station. The nexted day I talked to her on the phone and she cried once more asking me when she got to come home. She will be back for Thanksgiving and I am trying to do investigative stuff in the mean time to see if there is a motion I can file in my court so she doesn't have to go back if she don't want to. If you know of anything I can do or can point me in the right direction it would be greatly appreciated from me and my family.
UPDATE November 15, 2006
Hi Lisa, Things are going ok. Since I talked to you last my ex husband took me to court and won custody. The tribal judge didn't even ask to see my divorce papers or custody order. We were only in there for 90 seconds or so. It was the most heart breaking day of my life. I get all holidays with her though so she will be here on Sat. the 18th and will stay until the 26th. She will turn 12 in Feb. and the judge said that after the school year is over, my daughter can choose who she wants to reside with. That makes things a little easier to deal with. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
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37) August 27, 2006 (Letters from Mother; Grandmother's letters follow)
Hi my name is M.... I think I'm the mother that wrote you. I have a baby girl who was a potential member of an indian tribe. The tribe took her and told me I had no rights to her under the indian child welfare act and gave a me a no contact order and then an exclusion order and then removed my name from the birth certificate. I have no more rights to my daughter and I have no more money to pay another atty. I paid an atty, to take me to federal court at the last minute he decided to go to superior court and that judge said that because she was identified as an indian child the tribe had exclusive jurisdiction and what they said went. The tribe relinquished all of my rights for me. the fact of the matter was I did nothing to deserve this , nor did my baby.
- Feather's story
Because I'm white I have no rights to my daughter! This is a true statement! I have not seen my now 3 year old daughter for one year. All civil rights I thought my daughter and I had as an American citizens have completely been violated by Oregon's Warm Springs Tribal court judges.
In April of 2005 I was living in the state of Washington. I was awakened to find tribal police at my door with a warrant to arrest my daughter then one-year-old. I tried to fight them off by shutting my door. But a tribal officer pushed the door open. I kept saying you can't take my daughter. I kept fighting them but they took my arms and then put hand cuffs on me and put me in a police car. Then the officers went into my house, got my daughter and took her to Warm Spring, Oregon. I was left with a court order to appear two days later in Warm Spring. In this court hearing the Judge returned my daughter to me with permanent custody. She also stated the tribe had no jurisdiction on my daughter.
One year later, a judge on friendly terms with the alleged father summon me to court on the pretense of a DNA test. I was afraid to not show because of what happened last year. In the court the judge order my daughter to be taken from me at any force necessary . She so instructed the police officers to break my arms if need be. The judge then came from her desk and started to hit me on the head and screamed at the officers "do it, I won't hold you responsible." I could not resist the pressure on my arms so I let go. The police officer told me to let go or he would break my arms and he didn't know when I would get help. My daughter was taken from me and declared a ward of the court. I was allowed supervised visit which never seemed to work out as they never let me see her when I made appointments. I was allowed to see her twice. Once in my mother house and once in their cps office. The last time I saw her was April 20th, 2006.
That was one year ago. I now have no visitation rights because I went public with them taking my child. This last year I have tried everything to get her back but I have had the worst luck. I can't even give her a present, know if she is sick, how much she has grown this last year , I can't even give her a kiss and hug. Put her to bed at night not one thing we did for the first two years of her life. I was her sole and primary care give. I never did drugs or treated my daughter in a bad way. I took three urine test and one complete blood work to show them wrong in their thinking and still they the judge refused to give my daughter back to me. I lived in a new log cabin house and went to college. Was a member of my college baseball team. My daughter now lives in a alcohol and drug infested home with 14 other people. The father is a convicted felon and has child abuse and neglect charges, the tribe does not recognize his crimes because they were not committed on the reservation. I also filed abuse charges on behalf of my daughter which the police refused to follow up on.
I will never see my daughter again if I do not get some help. I 'm asking for any donations towards feather's legal aid. I need people to get involved and involve others. My daughter is not tribal chattle! Feather has rights and she needs voices. Please help!
UPDATE April 2, 2007
Hi, Lisa! Its me ... Last year was very hard for me, and the constant let down of not being able to see or speak to my baby has tore me apart. I have spoken to the alleged biological father and he informed that is is final that I will never be able to see (my baby) again as long he has anything to do with the process. So I have taken it very hard. I did write the the tribal court judges, and asked for another hearing at least for visitation, and my pleas were denied. This tribe and its judges wrecked my life!! ...I'm afraid to be disappointed anymore. I'm using a friends e-mail' feel free to e-mail me back. There is probaly not a day that goes by that I don’t cry for my baby. I feel like the life I once had no longer exists.
UPDATE April 3, 2007
Lisa, ... I had a conversation with him and begged him for visitation and I let him know that I had petioned the tribal court again asking for a reconsideration of my case... he let me know that as long as he has anything to do with it I will never see feather again. he also will not give me any information about her and will not let me talk to her . I had a baby in december and he was born stillborn. I don’t understand why all of happened to me. ... I lost everything that was important and meant something to me. ... I'm still strong I just don’t want the constant let down and heart break.
I will check for more of your e-mails.
TO MAKE DONATIONS FOR FEATHER'S LEGAL AID, CLICK HERE.
Be sure to make note specifying the donation is for Feather.
News article concerning Feather - Madras Pioneer
Below letters are from Feather's grandmother
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36) August 27, 2006 (Letters from Grandmother; Mother's letters above)
I believe I'm the mother of Mother M. Right now I feel like I'm on this one person battle to help my granddaughter and daughter to be back together. I have been to so many web sites but didn't know you were here until just now. I have prayed to God for help. I feel as though I've beg him. We so much need an attorney but just don't have any more money. The one attorney we did get took my daughter down the wrong road and we lost in court. Now we need some one to help us start all over again. This last attorney was hired to take My daughter to federal court with a Habeas Corpus Rit but he went on his own path to a state court in which she lost. Now to appeal this we must come up with another five thousand. My daughter is so upset because what the attorney did or didn't do was of no help. This little girl { my granddaughter} has been left with a man who may or not be her real father. We have not been given any proof of DNA. As an Indian tribe they feel above this of giving proof. Is there any help you can provide? As to resource to non profit attorneys or such. Please, please contact me back.
UPDATE November 14, 2006
Today we lost this last attorney. He doesn't have the time to devote to the case. He already has the seven cases to get ready for federal court by the end of the year. Just one more hurdle to jump over. .... Is there some chance you could ask some friends you know to send a letter to the editor at the Madras pioneer here in support ... we are in need of money. I'm going to sale my house. I will have to to get a good attorney. ... Any help will help. Some of my friends here are set to write but I think if there are letters from all over it will add pressure to the tribe. Right now (baby) is sleeping on the garage floor and living in a house that no one wants her. She is just in their way. If she is this must trouble they could just send her home. They no longer need her now that the census peoples have come thru and counted all the people who live on the reservation and they will all get their money. ... Your friend, ...Thank you and bless you!!!!!
UPDATE December 9, 2006
Lisa, Today (the presumed father) did talk to (mother) and told her that (baby) no longer talks and is not potting trained yet. The he is going to put her in a special class so she learns to talk. I believe that little (baby) is going though so much trauma she stopped talking. We need help to get this little girl off the reservation and out of the hands of his man who has no idea of what he has caused this little girl to suffer. Have you been able to talk to.... Please tell him about this. Thank you
UPDATE January 9, 2007
I was writing to tell you (2nd child) child was born stillborn. We lost the baby on Christmas eve. I should say the doctor here took an ultra sound and found the baby dead. The doctor took the baby on the 26th. We buried the baby on the 29th with the fathers tribe. (not same as the claiming father and tribe) This was an horrible year for my Daughter. We can only pray this new year will be better. Could .....talk to (my daughter) because no lawyer we take the case (concerning the toddler). We are truly lost.
UPDATE January 11, 2007
(My daughter - M) is working very hard for her daughter to be returned to her. She is having a bad time but she is taking one day at a time. Her husband is very upset and is trying to cope also. Talk to you later. Thank you for your help.
UPDATE January 25, 2007
called that DNA place and they told us they have no DNA test on file. We are just waiting for a confirmation. I also called the state vital stats and they told me they only accept one court order for the biological father. ... already had a court order naming (someone else). So that flake DNA test and court order from the tribe will never work. The state will never change the existing court order. (claimant) will never be able to claim (toddler).. He will never be able to obtain a birth certificate or a social security card for her. In the whole world except for on the reservation he will never be the legal father. Now we just have to work on a way to get her off...
UPDATE February 21, 2007
Now members of the tribe a starting to harass me. I think I should make my signs a little bigger. That what a friend of my from the tribe wants me to do. I need to scream a little louder. Yesterday I went to .... and had a protest. People there have no clue. Could you please write a letter of support to the paper. Most of the people I know here are afraid of the tribe..One friend who's granddaughter is a member of the tribe was taken from her for writing a letter of support. This was done by the same judges. ....
UPDATE April 8, 2007
Lisa, ... I will be passing these e-mails on to the BIA man. I don't know if he will help but I will tell him some other people have also contacted Senator Mc Cains office also. Can the mother from Wisconsin and the man from Oklahoma write to me with there story so I can give it to the BIA man?
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35) August 26, 2006
To Whom It May Concern; I am writing in reference to my son, ...who was placed in foster care due to the irresponsible acts of my ex-husband.... an enrolled member of the ... Indian Nation, as I , myself, ..., am a member of the ... Tribe. Before my son was removed from his fathers residence I had made several attempts to have him returned to my custody here....
Unfortunately, I learned through a caseworker that my son had been removed from (his Dad's) residence because of drugs found there. Immediately I contacted the caseworker and notified her that I wanted my son returned here to me... Now, after several months of back and forth communications with the State... , I am told that he will be placed in another foster home due to the fact that his foster parents at this time will be relocating.... Could you please advise me as to what my options are regarding this situation and how I can go about this legally without hurting my son more than he has already been hurt. I love my son very much. I need him in my life as much as he needs me, to get stability and return to the quality of life we once shared before all this took place. I will answer any questions needed to provide you with more information to understand my problem. Thank you very much for your time and understanding.
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34) August 21, 2006
Dear CAICW: We are in dire need of some counsel from your organization. We are a Christian family and have recently brought home a little girl who is 1/4 (Choctaw and Chickasaw) and 3/4 Caucasian. The agency that we went through did not send the notification letters to the tribes early in the process and felt that this was a low risk adoption and that direct placement would be alright. We have not signed the adoption placement agreement yet because our social worker said we had to wait for the Indian tribes to respond. She had heard from one of the tribes (Chickasaw) but when that social worker's supervisor received our social worker's message, he called her back and said that they ARE intervening. In fact, the Choctaw tribe is sending profiles to the adoption agency for them to pick a family for (the baby). We heard this sad news last Friday and have been deeply discouraged ever since. We have had (the baby) for almost six weeks (she will be seven weeks old on Thursday) and are devastated about the fact that she may be removed from our home. We are a godly couple who has tried to have a child for over eight years. We are a middle income family and don't have money for a large court case but would do whatever it took to keep (her). In fact, this weekend my husband and I put together a letter to the two tribal social workers, complete with an action plan of how to keep (her) heritage alive for her and also how Native Americans have influences our lives and the lives of our family. ...PLEASE HELP US!! We believe that God has put (her) in our home and do not want the tribes to take her away.
....THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! We have been trying to start a family for 8 1/2 years and in April were going to pick up a little girl and were called in midstream to turn around because the birthmother had decided to parent. So, we were hopeful about this little girl. Now our hearts are grieving. However, we believe that God is in control....
UPDATE October 5, 2006
I want to thank you and your organization for pointing us in the right direction. The information and encouragement that we received from John Moore ...was what we needed to fight for our daughter.... We currently have hired one of the best adoption attorneys in ... and she is consulting with one of the top ICWA attorneys in the country. We have established a legal defense fund and the finances are pouring in. God is SO good.
Our attorney has put together a plan of action and we should be hearing from her today or tomorrow. We will then approach our adoption agency and pray that everything moves along quickly and inexpensively.
Thanks SO much for being there at a time that I was ready to give up. We still have a long way to go but are grateful for you, your organization and all the help that we have received. Blessings to you,
UPDATE November 13, 2006
(Baby) is now four months old and is still with us. One of the two tribes pulled out last week. They stated that (Baby) wasn't eligible for tribal membership and, therefore, ICWA didn't apply in this instance. PRAISE THE LORD!! One down, one to go.
We have a wonderful attorney who is working with us. We believe that the Lord led us to her...
We are currently trying to locate the birthmother so that she can sign away her ICWA rights. She is military and on deployment. The birthfather is willing to do whatever it takes. That is a good sign.
After this, we believe that the ...tribe will back down. This is our prayer, at least.
By the way, is your organization familiar with ... in Arizona? He is an AWESOME resource in dealing with the tribes. He is the first person who gave us real hope of winning this. In fact, our attorney conferred with him and is helped her to put the case together. ... he has fought ICWA cases for 20 years and is very knowledgeable. He would be a great reference for any future cases you come across.
Thanks again for being there when we needed help. Your organization is such a blessing. I'll keep you posted as the months progress.
In Christ,
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33) August 18, 2006
My daughter is 3 yrs old. Her father is Indian but I am not. He has been in and out of trouble for the last six years. Mostly for drugs. I have never been arrested for any reason. Ialso have three other children that are not his. He is now in prison for up to 10 years. We have not been together since before our daughter was born. He showed no interest in being a part of her life until after I got married. She does not even know who he is. He has not made any effort to see her since December 2004. Now he is threatening me with the Indian Child Welfare Act. He says that he is going to take her to his reservation and that I will never be able to see her again. Can he do that? What rights do I have? Who can I contact for help on understanding ICWA? Any information you can give me would be very much appreciated. I love my daughter very much!
UPDATE August 19, 2006
Thank you for your understanding, support, and compassion Lisa!!! You really have helped me overcome my fear of losing my daughter and realize that I haven't lost the fight before it has begun!!! God bless to you and your family. Thank you for being there for people like myself who don't understand ICWA and are unsure where to get information on it. I found out this morning that my daughter's father has been released from prison early. So things may be happening sooner than expected. I am very relieved to know that I am not going in to this battle blind and uneducated. So his threats will no longer control my family's life and security. I want you to know that you may have just helped me keep my daughter safe and secure at home with me, my husband, and all three of her brothers!!!!
UPDATE October 7, 2006
Lisa, Thank you for your concern. My daughter's father has been released from prison and has not contacted us yet. So we are all happy and well still. Since I last spoke with you I have talked with a few people regarding my rights. If it comes down to it we will go to court and from the information I have received I now believe that I have a pretty big chance of winning full custody. i will keep you updated if further happens. God Bless You, your heart, and your family.
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32) July 29, 2006
I am a single/widow desperate mother seeking help from someone/anyone. I
have a story. I as a U.S abiding citizen have been revoked of my rights here
in the United States. I am in a child custody battle. My X-boyfriend is a
Native American and I AM NOT!!! We had a child together and I fled the state
... and moved... because of domestic
abuse to my children and self.
Then I received a letter in person by a
...deputy. It stated I had to return our daughter back to the tribal
reservation OR I could reply within 21 days with a counter-complaint. I did
reply within 9 days with a certified counter complaint to the tribal court
and to my ex-boyfriends lawyer. I did not hear anything back from them for
almost 45 days. I then received a summons via first class mail 48 hours
before the allotted hearing. The court appearance is ..., 8 hours
away from where I reside. I was summon[ed] to bring my 5 year old daughter and
myself to appear in court. I called the Judge and spoke to directly to
explain that I did not have a running vehicle, nor did I have the time to
make arrangements for my other three children, nor did I have the money or
time to make arrangements for accommodations for us in Michigan.
I did show
up for court, a friend was able to drive me there but I did not bring my
daughter because I knew we had to sleep in the car for lack of funds for a
motel room. ...after 4 +
hours in the court room they arrested me. Never read me my Miranda rights.
Held me in a casino hotel room against my will. Didn't feed me, officer was
armed in the hotel room with me and assaulted me. Moved me to another
reservation 1 1/1 hours away, shackled me, and never placed a seat belt on
me.
...I
finally got released 72+ hours later. When I got out a friend picked me up.
First thing that morning I went to dial help and meet up with state advocate.... She called the state police to tell them all about my bruises. Then
we went over there. They took pictures and statements of everything. The
state police chief was to take the packet straight to the F.B.I. When
leaving the police station I went back in because I was scared I had seen my
X's family riding past. So the state police drove me to my friend's house
and was keeping an eye on it.
My two best friend's husbands came and picked me up. When I arrived home
they filled me in on what happened their way. During the time I was
imprisoned, my friend Heather was watching my children for me. The night
they put me in jail, my X-boyfriend and a tribal police officer were to
pick up my daughter in my state of residence. She waited until about 1 in
the morning and because she has 3 children of her own that needed to be in
school the next day and she lives 2 hours away, she made the decision to
take her 3 and my 4 children back to her house. The tribe tried getting
charges on my one girlfriend Heather on kidnapping charges. She explained to
all the police and schools, leaving phone numbers and an address where she
was ALL THE TIME.
After calling over 40+ lawyers, I finally retained one for the next court
date which was supposed to be a child custody trial. It ended up when we
arrived it was switched to a mediation which the judge already made his mind
up before hand.....
......The judge made this decision before court was scheduled to begin and
admitted this to both parties and both lawyers. Neither party was given
the chance to speak in court and the trial was cancelled when we arrived
and were told right then that it was already in mediation which the
judge DID attend. I felt the judge was racist and vindictive towards me...
...How can a judge make a legal decision when he holds no law degrees and
he makes up his decisions as he goes along to please his family
members?
His father also a "judge" was charged with corruption.
I am coming to you for help, because I truly believe that this certain
tribe has manipulated tribal laws to fit their own agenda. I have the
up most respect for Native Americans and feel like this tribe is making a
bad name for law abiding Native Americans.
If you are interested in this story please call me or write to me. I REALLY
NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE!!!!
My daughter is getting messed up because of all of this.
UPDATE February 16, 2007
I am seeking help to seek a lawyer that will take a tribal custody
battle. I have called and e-mailed over ' and no one will touch
it. I am a non-native american with a daughter of a tribal member and
they are trying to take my daughter. I have been fighting for a year now.
Her father does drugs, sells them and drinks all the time. He had
visitation and was drinking and driving with our daughter. He took our
daughter to parties were booze and other substances were used and the judge will NOT hear me. How come I can not get help. I am afraid he'll not only kill himself but our daughter because tribe will not hear me. I
need help and I need it now.. Can you find me help???
UPDATE January 29, 2008
Life is finally getting better. But (ex-) came down for Christmas and I aloud him to stay in our home with his son,(my step-son). He was warned ahead of time my home will be watched. He acted and behaved well. My church, abuse center and work family all meet him and watched out for our family. It took him 1 1/2 yrs to break down. Naturally he admitted to everything to my face but that is the extent of it. I get my own lawyer as of Monday and will start the process of getting child support.
It REALLY felt good to hug (ex-) and tell him I forgive him for everything and I love him and will continue to pray for him. While he was here (daughter) prayed for him at the dinner table and he almost cried. But again how long will that be???
Well any how, when are we going back to Washington D.C?
Keep me informed.
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31) July 13, 2006
I am a native American and I have a unique situation that I am trying to clarify. I have a ex-wife that refused my visitation for over four years and hired an attorney where this attorney wrote me threatening letters that he would have me put in jail for stalking, and trespass if I attempted to see my son. One month after our divorce was final she filed an attachment on my wages not even giving me a chance to pay my support. To make a long story short I lost my job,vehicle,my home and now I couldn't pay my support. I have not seen my son since 1999 and I eventually by force gave up my parental rights. I would call this fraud and duress under the ICWA definition. There has been no violent past or substance abuse, just a hateful women. She would tell me if I want to see my son I would have to come up with some money. I had no money at the time to take her to court and fight this. Well, I ended up loosing my rights. The positive thing about this whole situation is she and her attorney failed to acknowledge the ICWA and never made mention of my Native American background to the courts. They preformed the termination of parental rights and her new husband adopted my son without following the ICWA guidelines. I never appeared in front of a judge for a trial and there was never any contact with my tribe or the B.I.A. I have since gotten back on my feet, paid off all my support, and now pursuing a law suite against her for violation of I.C.W.A. This will take place in Wyoming. You can't imagine what she has done to me.
My parents and I just concluded a law suite for Grandparents rights and won. The Wyoming Supreme Courts ruled that our case was constitutional and the Judge said he would hear our case. To make a short story of this we have been fighting for a year and half for my parents and finally got what we wanted. They settled out of court and agreed to our stipulations for Grandparent visitation with my son. I have been studying the ICWA very close and I feel I have a very good shot at getting everything set aside do to their fraudulent misrepresentation to the District Courts to include the duress that impacted me from the threats from her attorney. He wrote in one letter that it would be less more favorable for me later if I didn't give up my rights now and told me that if I didn't give my rights up he would take them by force. I had no clue at the time so I believed him. Now I know. Also my ex wife knew I was a member of a tribe where she has admitted it in a deposition last October during the Grandparents rights Case we filed. I could sure use all the help I can get if you have any additional information or opinion. Thank you very much for your web-site!
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I am filing an I.CW.A case against my sons mother for fraud and duress and not complying with I.C.W.A. when adopting a Native American Child/Termination of Parental Rights. She knew I was Native American and failed to inform the Courts along with her Attorney. Please say a prayer for me.........
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